Corey & Stacie

Friday Confessions

2012-02-17T09:31:00.000-05:00

1. In my spare time I like to browse the hairs on my head for little grays.

And split ends.

And bugs.

Weird, right? Ever since fifth grade I've had a very irrational fear of developing lice thanks to the teachers who put the Fear of God into us kids by threatening to take away the field trip of the year if any of us tried to bring our little "friends" along for the ride.

2. That was before education reform. I'm sure.

3. I never did learn how not to use run-on sentences.

4. But in my defense, I talk in run-on sentences.

That doesn't make it right.

5. On Tuesday during our Valentine's Day dinner I drank a delicious glass of sparkling wine. It's what I would call a one way ticket to Fartsville.

6. I have to mention farts every now and then for my future reading pleasure. Next year at this time I'll wonder what was on my mind waaaaaay back in 2012. And when I stumble on this episode of Friday Confessions I will be pleasantly surprised.

7. A note to Stacie of 2013 and beyond: remember how you wore those black leggings from Marshall's, like, a dozen time before you realized you can totally see through them??

Yeah, that was hilarious.

8. Also during dinner on Tuesday the older couple next to us was discussing The Bachelor. Had I not been consumed with shoving shrimp and bread down my throat I would have jumped in.

It was really good bread...

9. My glasses are always dirty.

10. I still have my 2011 calendar up. And for just a moment, every time I glance up to see what the date is I really think it's Tuesday, January 31st.

But that is actually better than my other option: twelve months of hunky shirtless jockeys, which isn't exactly appropriate for, um, my office.

...

Happy Friday!! I hope your weekend is full of sunshine, ponies and rainbows.

Bring on the chocolate, planet earth.

2012-02-14T10:51:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Enjoy your roses, chocolate, glass of wine, bottle of wine, fancy dinner, romantic movie, smooches, microwavable TV dinner, good book, or whatever your day has in store!

Unless you plan to spend Valentine's Day cutting your ex-boyfriend's head out of all of your pictures or stalking "the one that got away." In that case, buy yourself some chocolate and let's all hope the day goes by quickly.

Friday Confessions

2012-02-10T16:00:00.001-05:00

1. My office chair made a "farty" noise on Tuesday. I tried to recreate it so my co-workers would know it didn't come from me.

2. I spent several minutes in a heated debate last Saturday on whether or not I was caught eating my boogers that one time when I was ten.

3. For the record: I stopped eating boogies when I was three.

4. My sister, Kimberlie, doesn't understand Groundhog's Day:

Kim: "So what does he see?"

Me: "His shadow."

Kim: "How do we know if he sees it??"

Jay with obvious sarcasm: "He tells someone."

Kim: "But what if the sun isn't out?"

Jay, more thick sarcasm: "They bring out a lamp."

Kim: "Wouldn't that give a false reading?"

5. I had to get blood drawn and a tetanus shot at my check up on Monday. Corey almost had to come to the appointment with me for this reason alone. I'm what you might call a big wuss.

6. But for realz, tetanus shots suck. My left arm hurt for days.

Don't cry for me Argentina.

7. I may or may not have found out who wins at the end of the Bachelor. I am both kicking myself for spoiling the ending and relieved to now have two free hours on Mondays because there's no way I'm watching the rest of that train wreck.

8. I won't ruin it for you. Even though misery loves company.

9. But I will rub something in your face right now: wanna know what my husband planned for us for Valentine's Day weekend?

An entire weekend away at the cozy Mirror Lake Inn in Lake Placid.

And I didn't even have to bug him.

This is where I'll come down for 3 o'clock tea and cookies. Maybe I'll read by the fire for a spell.

Fancy a skate? Why yes! Indeed!

Mmmmm, I'll have what she's having.

10. I apologize for that display of displaying. I simply could not contain myself.

....

Peace out!

Ten on Tuesday

2012-02-07T09:14:00.003-05:00

1. How do you feel about Groundhog’s Day?
I forget about it. Every. Single. Year. And then when I am reminded I worry about that poor little groundhog who is probably just wondering why he isn't hibernating with his cousins.

2. What color are your fingernails right now? (Bonus points if you include a picture.)
Brown. And chipped thanks to some last minute pre-Super Bowl cleaning.

3. Do you like riddles?
No. I hate riddles, hate, hate, hate. They make me feel dumb because I don't have any patience to solve them.

4. When you were 10, how old did you think “old” was? At your current age, how old do you think “old” is?
When I was 10 my ballet teacher was 16. In real time it seemed like she was 30 and practically dead. But now that I see my parents in their 50s and active, my boss is in her 70s and very active, and myself nearly 30 and nowhere near death's door, I'd have to say 80's are old.

5. Do you wish on stars?
No. I don't wish much. It seems like time that could be better spent shoving chocolate cake in my mouth.

6. Do you recycle?
Sigh, no. Although I dream of a day when I can have a multitude of recycling bins; including a runoff water collector and compost heap. Oh to be green.....

7. On a scale from 1-10, how good of a cook are you?
If you ask me, I'd say I'm a fantastic cook; I love what I make! If you ask Corey, who literally spit out my last quinoa concoction, he might have a different opinion.

8. Do you color your hair? Professionally or at home?
When I do get highlights I go to a friend of mine. I don't get to sit in a fancy swirly chair but I do save a ton of money!

9. One a scale from 1-10, how do you rate your manners?
At home; negative 5. In public 10. Unless someone in my party burps out loud first, then that seal is broken and it's fair game.

10. Who are the last 5 people you have texted?
Corey, my sister Kimberlie, mom-in-law, and the girl who sells my jewelry.

...

Good times.

Have yourself a swaptastic day!

2012-02-03T12:47:00.000-05:00

Well color me extremely excited today.

And not just because today starts the Crandall Library Book Sale where I found myself five books for only $7.

Girlfriend loves herself a deal.

But no! Today this girl is playing the swap game with Mamarazzi and her friends!

What this means:

starting today I get to collect gobs and gobs of my favorite things which may or may not include enormous amounts of chocolate.
starting today my swap partner gets to collect gobs and gobs of her favorite things.
in March we switch.
then we open our packages and giggle and squeal like it's Christmas.

This is my first swap; I'm all aflutter with joy and anticipation! So check back in March when I can tell you what my favorite things are...and then I can reveal what my swap buddy gave me!

And then you'll be like, "OMGosh what have I been missing out on all these years?" and you'll visit Mamarazzi herself and you'll laugh at her antics and you'll want to snuggle her adorable dog and sooner than you think you'll come across a swapportunity where you can give/receive oodles of pretty little things and the world will be a better place.

Story of my life, people.

Elements of a drug deal

2012-02-02T12:23:00.001-05:00

Lesson learned: some details need a liiiiitle more elaboration when telling a story through bullet points.

Like when one mentions possibly busting up a drug deal in a recent excursion to a certain state capital.

Were the cops involved?

Was your life in danger?

Did someone bust a cap?

It's a natural tendency to think of the worst possible scenario when given limited information.

(guilty, oh so guilty)

(i blame it on my vivid imagination)

(we're getting off topic here)

(by we i mean me)

(sorry to drag you in there)

So to set the record straight, I may have exaggerated my bullet point.

But I may not have either!

You tell me: there I was driving all around the dark streets of Albany trying to find parking space on a Saturday night of all nights. I stop at a light and see what I think are several spots along a side street. But as I'm waiting I see two suspicious characters walk across the street to one of the parked cars and get in. They just sit there. I pull in in front of the car and see a person get out of the car behind me and go into the car in front of me and just sit there.

Weird.

And then a really nice SUV pulls up next to me and stares at me.

Was he trying to see if I was one of his regulars?

Was he trying to see if I was a cop??

That's when I grabbed everything of any value, ran toward the restaurant, and prayed my car would still be there with all four of its tires when I came back.

So, what would you call that?

Being not so familiar with drug deals I just assumed that's what that was.

I guess it could have been a meeting with a hit man, or maybe just two parents getting together under the cover of darkness to discuss the terms of their custody arrangement.

We'll never know.

And that is where my story ends. I came back out later and my car was there, my tires were there and no one was hiding in the back seat waiting to ambush me for bein' a snitch.

So, thoughts?

Concerns?

Questions?

Recommendations to get my brain examined?

I welcome your comments.

The nice ones.

The early years

2012-02-01T16:05:00.001-05:00

Hello friends. Happy Wednesday!

Or, if you're like me, Happy Tuesday and Happy Thursday!

My, um, calendar ran out on me yesterday and I'm completely lost without it.

So to celebrate Wednesday, and February, and the fact that it's waaaay too stinkin' warm for winter I'm going to post somethin'.

Lucky you!

I found a few pictures at my parents' house recently:

These two crazy kids fully embracing the styles of the late 70s are my parents. Young, and in love, and fully unaware that within 10 years they will have three very loud, yet amazingly well-behaved children.

I love old pictures.

I love my parents.

I love my dad's face in the top right picture.

That's what he does.

He also mistakenly pronounces "exacerbate" in a very embarrassing way.

My parents worked at a boy's academy when I was young as house parents in a barracks full of seventh graders.

Handsome couple.

Needless to say, I was the center of attention.

Oh the memories.

Eventually these two adorable yahoos came along.

I love old pictures.

...and reminiscing.

...and bowl cuts.

...and mama's old aprons.

...and my family.

Ten on Tuesday

2012-01-31T11:15:00.003-05:00

Ten on Tuesday with Chelsea is back! Girlfriend took a much needed hiatus but now we're up and running and all is right with the world again.

1. What’s your variety of apple?

Pink lady. So appropriate, right? But I will say that before I moved to friggin' apple country I thought an apple was an apple. Except for the green ones. Those made my face hurt.

2. Do you prefer Long-English or Field cucumbers?

No, thank you.

Yuck.

3. Tomatoes – Delicious or disgusting?

I'll eat one with a big ol' glob of mozzarella, or anything else that can mask all of the flavor.

4. What’s one fruit or vegetable that you can’t stand and why is that?

Beets. A word of caution: if you go into a beet soup expecting red velvet cake (and why wouldn't you, it will be the most beautiful shade of red and so silky smooth) you will be disappointed. Beets taste like dirt.

5. What’s your favourite way to prepare veggies? (Grilled, boiled, roasted, sautéed, etc.)

Steamed. It's easy. I dont need it to be delicious, just soft enough to go down quick. I'm in it for the vitamins.

6. Sweet potato pie: Love it or hate it?

Never had it. But. I. Want it.

7. What’s your favourite “style” of French fry? Wedges, shoelace, curly, crinkle-cut or other?

Steak fries are my weakness. So much so that I eat them off of others' plates.

8. What’s your favourite fruit-pie filling?

Razzleberry. I'm not entirely sure what this means, but Mrs. Smith does and she does it goooooood. It's tart and sweet and goes perfectly with ice cream. This is my dessert of choice for bad days.

9. When you were a kid did your parents make you sit at the table until all your veggies were eaten off your plate?

I was such a good child there was probably never a meal where I didn't eat all of my vegetables.

That's probably wrong. I just don't remember!

10. Do you drink veggie & fruit juice blends (such as V8, etc.) or make them yourself?

Here's something you might not know: fructose from fruit juice has the same negative long-term affects on your liver as alcohol. So I tend to stay away from the stuff, unless I absolutely need a shot of OJ with my scrambled eggs.

Real men improvise

2012-01-31T10:43:00.001-05:00

Recently Corey and I had to rearrange some of the pictures we have hanging around our apartment.

I say "had to" because Corey was itchin' for something new.

We got everything all lined up and ready to go on the walls when Corey said,

"Hang on a sec. I'll grab my tool box."

What he brought out was a box. Of tools. A small cardboard box.

My husband has a literal tool box.

(turns nose up) And I bet your husband has one of those clanky metal things. That is sooooo pretentious.

You asked, Stacie answered

2012-01-30T12:52:00.000-05:00

I heard you.

You were dying to know what we did this weekend.

It's because Corey and I lead such fascinating lives you feel the need to live your own through us, right?

That's what I thought.

Without further ado, our weekend in bullets:

pajamas
oatmeal
pajamas
crepes
pajamas
lame daytime TV
more TV
some felting
horse racing
pajamas
shower!
navigate Albany to find restaurant
interrupt drug deal
birthday dinner for friend
dream of pajamas
pajamas
church
pajamas
felting
stomach ache

The End.

What's that, you say?

You may have overestimated the amount of excitement you expected to find here?

Would this be more or less riveting if I told you those pajamas had pink flamingos on them?

....

Hello?

Friday Confessions

2012-01-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

Friday rewind! This one is from the good ol' days....2010.

1. I would like to find a job that included nap time as a company policy.

2. My Friday nights are spent baking. Because I am a 75 year old grandmother.

3. I really do think those Reebok butt shapers will make me look like the girls in the commercials. "Who wears short shorts?" Well if I had those shoes I could, but I wouldn't because I like to set a good example for the younger pre-adolescents .

4. My friend had a baby last Thursday. She has since uttered the words "nipple confusion" and I am now concerned for all future conversations.

5. I really did walk around NYC on Sunday with my fly down. Again.

6. A driver's ed car went by my office on Tuesday. It was on a flat bed with a smashed front end. Oh how I laughed at the poor flunky's expense.

7. My parents taught me a harsh, humiliating lesson in stealing when I was three. I have never even considered taking so much as a dust bunny from any store, home, or baseball diamond since then.

8. I am in a hippie transformation process. I now only eat free-range chicken, grass fed beef and cage free eggs. I am also considering buying a Subaru and not wearing deodorant.

9. Tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby, one of Corey's favorite days. I will be walking the dog and eating nachos because I bring bad luck to horse racing and girl talk to boy time.

10. I ate dessert before dinner last night. And then again after dinner. Because I'm an adult.

Good ol' boy

2012-01-25T12:06:00.000-05:00

Oliver

Birthday: July 15

Age: 6.5 years

Age in people years: 50-ish

Weight: 80lbs-ish

Breed: Golden Retriever

Energy level: ~~high~~ off the charts

Hobbies: sleeping on the bed, chasing balls, peeing on things

Hopes, dreams and aspirations: go for a walk

Occupation: mid-level security: will bark at intruders/guests/other dogs if awake and if they look creepy

Awards and accolades: best dog in the whole world (currently undisputed)

Nicknames: Oliver-dog, Bro Wolf, Boss, Bud, Buster Bottoms

....

Corey and I got Oliver from a family that kept him locked in little bitty crate in a garage when he was 7 months old and now I can't imagine not having his long, lanky self snuggled up to me at night, panting his stinky trash breath in my face as if to say, "thank you for loving me...now can I lick the rest of dinner off your face??"

Colder than a witch's walk-in freezer

2012-01-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

Raise your hand if you now have to wear two pairs of pants, long wool socks and no fewer than four shirts even when planning to spend the entire day inside curled up next to your own personal space heater in fear of being exposed to even one second of the bitter cold that lurks outside just waiting to freeze you to your bones.....

Yeah, me too.

Good luck with that.

Friday Confessions

2012-01-20T09:36:00.000-05:00

1. I'm wishing we could go back to the era of split-level homes and just skip it. Skip that who entire decade of design. Because I just don't like it.

2. Although some of the best years of my life were spent in a split-level.

Years I didn't know any better.

3. I called Corey last night from my office phone:

"Hey, can you call my cell? I can't find it anywhere!"

bzzzzzz, bzzzzzzz, bzzzzzz

"Yup, it's right where I put it. In my purse."

4. I should not be given grown up responsibilities.

5. Sometimes I pick a random blog month and read my old posts because I think I'm funny.

6. My friend, Jill, and I play WordFeud constantly. I've gotten in the habit of forgetting to play and after two days the game automatically resigns for me. What a coincidence this usually happens when Jill is 80 points ahead of me.

7. I don't know how old my sisters are. But I do remember when they add another year to whatever number they're going with these days.

8. My hair is finally long enough to tuck under my arms and make it look like I have really long armpit hair.

Don't act like you've never done it.

9. I slid through an intersection last night and then almost off an on-ramp. I say this to one particular person who decided we really didn't need to be in Southern California. Thanks pops.

10. If my family stayed in SoCal I doubt I would have missed meeting Corey. I think we figured out he was there, in the same city many, many years ago. But if I had met him then I doubt there would have been any kind of love connection. He was 21 and I was 11, and that, my friends, is illegal.

...

Peace out.

On Oliver and life's little adventures

2012-01-18T13:55:00.000-05:00

My darling little Oliver-dog.

Mama's little tootie pie.

I believe I've had my last "kiss" from this mutt for a very, very long time.

You know what you did, Oliver.

You know how sometimes you find yourself in that "perfect storm" kind of scenario where your mouth is open mid-sentence just as your dog is jumping up to lick your chin where he found a dallop of ice cream the day before and you end up with a tongue all up in there?

Mmmhmmmm.

And then you get all grossed out but still semi-ok with it because "dogs have the cleanest mouths in town, for realz"?

Right, right.

But then there is a brief moment when you remember that time you caught him sampling cat doody and your insides curdle ever so slightly?

Yeah. Me too.

See, our little munchkin has been having some digestive issues lately; in that he walks away from the pooping grounds with a dingleberry clinger, a poo-nugget, if you will.

The first time he brought his little friend inside and deposited it in the form of a poo smear on the carpet.

The second time Corey managed to dislodge it while still outside.

Thank goodness.

And this last time, just last week, Oliver-dog took on the big boy responsibility of removing that little dangly crap nugget himself.

What a big helper!

Only Oliver does not have hands. Or fingers. Or a plastic baggy to place over and protect anything that must go near that region. He has his tongue. That multipurpose tool he uses clean, eat, and collect pee scents from neighborhood shrubs.

Grrrreat.

So there I witnessed my nighttime cuddle-bug, hunched over, going to work on that turd like his life depended on it.

And maybe his life did depend on it. Because how comfortable can it be to lay around all day with this thing just hanging out down there?

Anyway, to end a long story that could have been made very short about seven paragraphs ago, I ended up grabbing a piece of ice and stepping in to assist. Successfully.

However, I would say none of us walked away from that situation as winners.

But life-lessons were learned that day.

In grosser news....

2012-01-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

I found a little caterpillar stuck to one of my edamame beans. It was just inches away from my mouth.

Ewwwwwwwww.

I showed one of my co-workers.

"Awww, are you going to grow it?!"

I'm pretty sure the freezing and microwaving stunted its growth.

And its life.

But it makes me wonder: how many of those suckers have I eaten already....?

One of life's tough questions. Hmmmm.

My Thoughts Exactly: Walgreens

2012-01-13T22:02:00.001-05:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

Despite the fact that I complain endlessly about my newly developed trick knee, and I'm pretty sure my hip is about to give out on me any. day. now, I'm actually pretty healthy.

I eat a vegetable once every few days, I walk between my desk and the copier a few times a day and I manage to fall asleep to Matlock by 10pm....that is, when I'm not up until midnight on a felting binge.

Ok, so I could do better.

My goal is to be like my granddaddy, 80 years old and he only just recently started taking prescribed medication.

I'm not sayin' he led the healthiest of lives; I doubt following in his footsteps and taking up smoking and rabble rousing is going to get me as far. I'm also not sayin' there's something wrong with needing a little extra help. I just know myself. And myself can barely remember to put clean socks on let alone a variety of medications at different times each day.

You know how good I am at getting to the point...

So there are people in the world who need medicine.

And a good deal of them use Walgreens to fill their prescriptions. (It's actually one in five prescriptions, but who's counting?)

But now there's a little drama that just might complicate everything:

The contract between pharmacy benefits manager, Express Scripts, and Walgreens expired at the end of 2011 and there was no agreement reached in time. It's looking like there won't be any agreement.

For details visit this Walgreens and Express Script press release.

But in summary this means the buck does not stop here, no soup for you, you're not going to be able to get your meds at this store. Even though you've been going there for years and your pharmacist knows the ins and outs and inbetweens of your battle with eczema you now have to find a new in-network pharmacy. I don't have this kind of relationship with my pharmacist; I can't even remember which pharmacy I use for cryin' out loud. But I do know what it's like to have a professional relationship and how difficult that is to reestablish with someone new.

Fortunately, Walgreens is doing what they can to make this transition as easy as possible. And for some that means not having to make the transition at all! They are offering discounts for the Walgreens Prescription Savings Club, which will give everyone in the immediate family (including pets!) a year membership for only $10, and $5 for individuals.

Benefits include discounts on prescriptions, savings on more than 8,000 brand-name and generic medications, and discounts on flu shots pet prescriptions, nebulizers and diabetic supplies.

Commendable, if you ask me.

You can follow along and show your support at Walgreens on Twitter and Walgreens on Facebook.

(and if you like them on facebook they will donate a dollar to the Way to Well Commitment aimed at improving overall health and wellness....bo-nus!)

Friday Confessions

2012-01-13T09:42:00.000-05:00

1. Sometimes I think to myself:

If I don't look at the gas gauge it's not really empty.

2. (just kidding daddy)

3. I let myself become addicted to The Bachelor.

4. And Celebrity Wife Swap.

But in my defense...

Nope. I've got nothing. This stuff is 100% trash TV.

5. On New Year's Eve I ran in a 5k race with 1,500 other people. A 78 year old man beat me by several minutes.

6. I tried to text a friend of mine "Awwwww snap!" But what came out was "Sewsweetbags snap!"

7. Corey has had it much worse: he tried to tell his friend he could meet him for a beer but what came out was "cuddled heterosexual beer."

8. I ended up with macaroni and cheese in my hair yesterday, but that was only because I splattered it throughout the kitchen in my office.

Long story.

9. I usually drive with the radio off, but somehow on my way to work yesterday I found myself singing,

"Straight up now tell me do you really want to love me for-ev-a....oh, oh, oh."

This song always reminds me of a Barbie I had that came with a taped song that sounded reeeeeeally similar. Someone, please tell me you also had this same Barbie because everyone I've mentioned this to (in my age group) looks at me like I popped out one of my eyeballs.

10. At nearly-thirty I still talk Barbies with people.

Because I can't keep from making conversations awkward.

...

Happy Friday friends!

Pinterest? No, thank you.

2012-01-11T14:38:00.000-05:00

So, word on the street is there's this fancy new thing to do on the Internets called Pinterest.

The following is what I know about this site:

It can be found on the World Wide Web.
People really like it for some reason.
My friend Alyssa found a bunch of recipes.
Little buttons are now popping up in other websites that say "Pin It".
It is a black hole of stuff that sucks you in and turns your entire day into one big long interweb search of everything you didn't know you didn't know.

But I may exaggerate.

After all, I have never been to the site.

This is what I've heard:

"I learned how to do such-and-such on Pinterest."

"You can find lots of cool ideas on Pinterest."

"I spend a lot of time on Pinterest."

"OMGosh Pinterest is so addicting."

"Seriously, I was on Pinterest for hours and hours."

"I just. can't. stop...."

"Hey Stace, you should really try Pinterest."

Here's the deal friends, I am currently neglecting most aspects of my life already.

I don't have time to prepare healthy meals.

I only fold laundry when we are having to dump a full basket of clean clothes onto the bed in order to find a sock match.

I have enough time to make jewelry to stock one store. Partially.

And I'm not entirely sure what Corey looks like these days.

So if there is just one more thing out there that is going to fill me with all kinds of ideas of fun things I can do or make and cause me to spend a full Saturday crafting or baking or sawing things out of wood with very little experience doing so I'm going to have to politely pass.

Because that Saturday was probably already designated for something else.

Martha Stewart Living is where I draw the line.

...but only because I paid for the entire year.

Food, football and fighting in New Jersey

2012-01-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

Corey and Stacie sittin' in a tree....

...watching the Giants vs. Dallas game last weekend screamin' like a couple'a buffoons.

This is one of our favorite traditions. Corey has a wonderful friend who is a season ticket holder and lets us buy his tickets for this game every year. This year ended up being a super important game and that made it a little extra exciting.

Add some persistent rain and a whole bunch of crazy Dallas fans and you get one good story.

Going into this game, we're usually a lot more prepared than we were this time. We know who we're going with (we get four tickets), we have a set game time and most importantly we have a tailgate game plan. This year, however, we had a bunch of people not quite interested in the tickets, the game time changed to 8pm (hellooooo late night three hour drive!), and we did zero tailgating.

Eh.

Although I do enjoy the collective cheering and stuffing of faces with meat, and 8pm did technically put me in a different state waaaaaay past my bedtime, at the end of the day (literally) I was still going to be planting my buns in a seat on the 10 yard line screaming like a 7th grade cheerleader. And that was pret-ty okay by me.

So there we were, walking into the stadium in a steady drizzle.

And then there we were, watching warm ups in a steady drizzle.

It was raining, is what I'm trying to say. We got rained on off and on for the entire game, which would have been that side of terrible if it wasn't an unseasonable 50 degrees. But rain is still rain. And when you get those towels you're s'posed to wave when good things happen wet you end up launching a lot of water into unsuspecting eyeballs.

Whoopsie daisies.

So far, I haven't mentioned a thing about the game. Maybe you've noticed. But that's only because all of the action happened in the stands. We were surrounded by Dallas fans.

Dallas fans from New Jersey.

Here's something I was unaware of before moving to New York: New Jersey is terrible.

There.

I just became offensive.

Or insulting.

Whichever applies.

My apologies, New Jersey. But your roads make me turn four times to go straight, and your people are mean and abrasive and scary.

Corey and I were lucky enough to sit in front of father-of-the-year, and I say that with every ounce of sarcasm I can muster from deep within my bones. Mr. Stereotypical New Jersey himself brought his entire family, children and all, to the game to cheer on their team, the Cowboys.

The following is an excerpt from an overheard conversation within two minutes of the first quarter:

"(playful ribbing from two Giants fans in front of us)"

"I'm here with my f(udging) family! You want to f(udging) come back here?? I'll kick your f(udging) a(pple). Yeah, that's right you couple'a qu(esos). Turn the f(udge) around. I'm here with my f(udging) family."

Apparently, he was there with his family.

And he doesn't want his 10-year-old to know what it means to be innocently teased.

Did I not mention his 10-year-old was standing to his right?

I wasn't surprised when the drunk two rows ahead of us started throwing around fudge-bombs in Mr. New Jersey's general direction his kid came back with:

"Kiss my a(pple)!"

If only I'd packed a bar of Irish Spring...

Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

In between all the fun there was actually a football game.

A pretty good game! It's always good when you can walk out of a stadium and say your team is going to the playoffs.

That's what I always say.

It's also good when you can go to bed at 9:30pm, but sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

Survey Says: Run and hide

2012-01-04T10:52:00.001-05:00

Thank you all for your responses to my bat quandary. I especially appreciate the sincerity in which most of you advised whoever might find themselves in this situation to run and hide in the bedroom/bathroom.

But I should be honest with you. The situation I described wasn't entirely hypothetical.

It was actually 100%....actual.

I was the one who woke up to find the danged thing, I was the one wrestling an 80lb dog to the ground so he wouldn't go and catch himself some rabies, and I was the one who had to find some kind of solution so that we didn't end up fostering a colony of bat babies.

You're not surprised?

I guess I was able to provide a lot of details for a hypothetical situation.

But anyfranticmoment, here's the end of my bat fiasco:

In between rounds of fireworks and moments of panic I decided I should give this bat more opportunities to make an exit. I had already opened two windows but thought maybe the door would be a bigger target.

One problem: the door is across the room. As in, in direct line of the swooping.

So I wait.

The sucker starts his route. Office, living room, office, living room, dining roomTIMETOMAKEARUNFORIT!!! I shove Oliver in the direction of the front door, I follow and fling it open. I set out a basket to keep it open and sprint toward my bedroom.

From there I could see the bat swooop around the office. Every few minutes I'd walk toward the main area of our apartment hoping because I hadn't seen it the poor guy found his way out the window.

But then he'd swoop within inches of my head and I would scream and flail my way back to the bedroom.

This went on for 20 minutes.

Finally there was no more swooping. I went through the entire apartment, turning lights on and off and making a real ruckus to scare him out of his hiding place, if in fact he was still inside somewhere. When I didn't find anything I put a check in the win column, shut the windows and door and went to bed.

(Corey was out with his buds for this whole mess...)

This is where I hoped and prayed and hoped and hoped and prayed the story ended. But....sigh....Corey found the bat later on in the day as he was packing up goodies to take to the Giants game.

It was hiding under a bag in our kitchen.

If you don't like hearing about the demise of any creature (raises hand) you might want to, oh I don't know, browse my etsy shop (shameless plug) at this time. But I'm not even able to give too many details simply because I spent the entire time the poor bat was being disposed of in our bedroom with my head buried under a mountain of pillows.

But he was, um, eliminated. And I now live in a crime scene.

So here I just get done saying how I'm glad to leave 2011 behind and then 2012 comes barreling in with terror and the cruel reality of death. I'd be lying if I said I'm looking forward to what "surprises" this year holds.

But since there still is no way to tell what's a'comin', happy new year and here's to hoping everything goes exactly as planned!!

Survey: What would you do?

2012-01-03T13:01:00.001-05:00

I'm going to give you a purely hypothetical scenario and I would like to know what you would do, hypothetically.

It's 11:50 New Year's Eve and you wake up on the couch (after falling asleep to the Big Bang Theory marathon, hypothetically) to your dog staring intently at something. A something that appears to be swooping through your house.

You follow your dog's gaze to what could be a bat.

Then you confirm it is a bat as it flies at your head.

Now, let's say you live less than a block away from a park in a house that gives you a perfectly unobstructed front row view of the fireworks that are set off for two different occasions: July 4th and New Year's Eve. A feature of your living arrangement you brag about to your friends endlessly, hypothetically.

But in this scenario you find that because you're less than a block away from a park, when those rockets explode and you're already terrified of contracting rabies you find yourself unable to control the urge to scream, pee or sweat profusely. Hypothetically.

Now, let's say you have a rather large dog who is terrified of fireworks. A dog who uses the tactic, "If I bark loud enough they will go away," further scaring the bat and causing it to swoop even more erratically in the region near your head.

So as you lay there, in between your couch and ottoman, on top of your shaking Golden Retriever (hypothetically) you ask yourself what in the H-E-double hockey sticks you should do.

Well friends, what would you do?

It's all fun and games until someone gets weird

2011-12-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

You may not know this about Corey, but he's an 8-year-old on the inside.

Way down deep inside.

Like past the aches and pains and never-ending stream of gas of a nearly 40-year-old.

He chases fire trucks and watches airplanes take off from a parking lot near his office. And at all times we have several of those horrible 79 cent pizzas sitting in our freezer.
It's fun. And most of the time I get a kick out of his little quirks.

Then we had some crazy person hiding in the bushes next to our apartment building.

Corey Lucas went on the case.

The night we found the guy Oliver was actually the one who rooted him out of the bushes. He barked his big boy bark and the guy slowly walked back through the parking lot toward the street.

I watched the whole thing unfold from the safety of our bedroom, so I could see him slinking by, and then sprinting around the front of our building.

To say this dude was a creepster would have been flattering.

Corey ran upstairs.

"Did you see that?!"

We tried to spy on him through the windows as he seemed to be casing the small high school behind our building but it was too bright inside. So I turned off all the lights.

Still too bright. I put out the candles.

Nope, not good enough. I unplugged the tree.

And then we were standing in pitch black.

Corey called the police.
"I'd like to report a suspicious subject."

They put him on hold.

Meanwhile, creepster was walking up and down the school's steps. He twirled a little bit. Then he jumped the fence and headed back toward our building.

Still on hold....

He came back to the school. Found a rock. Oh no! Is he going to use that rock to bust in the school's windows?!?

No. He just wanted to stand on it and spin in circles.

Finally we get through to the cops. Corey tells them what happened, but in running to find my phone and tape the whole strange scene I lost track of Dr. Creepy so we couldn't say which direction he went.

Dang.

After hanging up Corey decides to take the law in his own hands. He suits up Oliver in his walk attire and the two of them head back downstairs. For 20 freezing (literally) minutes they walk up and down the sidewalk looking for the perp. A few cops drive by, but no one is able to locate the guy.

Corey finally came back upstairs. He realized how cold he was. All the excitement must have turned off some senses in order to heighten others.

Grown up cops and robbers will do that to a person.

....

What happened to Mr. McCreepin, you ask?

Not to worry. We found out the next week our strange friend is actually a student at the school.

Yay.

My Thoughts, Exactly: Unecessary Thriftiness

2011-12-30T10:30:00.000-05:00

This post is brought to you by my straw hair, my clumpy eyelashes and my new daily struggle against disheveledness.

Hello friends.

Stacie, here.

Save-a-buck Stacie.

Sends-in-$2-rebates-and-waits-four-months-for-the-check Stacie.

Picks-up-quarters-off-the-street-but-just-quarters-because-it's-not-worth-risking-hepatitis-for-a-nickle....I'm thrifty is what I'm trying to say here.

I also don't get to the point quickly.

But anybaddecision, I ran out of a few beauty products two weeks ago: shampoo, and mascara. Usually I'll go a few weeks using Corey's man shampoo and stepping out into the world with naked eyelashes, but I felt ambitious. So I took a lunch trip to Target.

This is what I decided to get for my hair. It said "professionals" on the bottle and I remembered the commercials showing salon hair-doers using it and thinking it was super expensive. I said to myself, I says, "Stace, you know commercials don't lie. And if those hair-doers say this stuff is the best in the world you just might want to give it a shot."

So I did.

And it's awful.

Imagine my shock when I found my $1.50 bottle of shampoo left my hair complete dry and frizzy and generally yucky.

My advice is to avoid Suave's 2 in 1 shampoo, unless hot mess is the look you're going for.

...

Now, in that same Target trip I meandered down the make-up aisle. I literally dread buying mascara (which is why I go so long before buying a tube each time I run out) because it is just too expensive.

Seriously. You stick black goop into a teeny tube with a mini toothbrush stuck to the lid. Why does that cost $15? With this latest mascara purchase I wanted to prove to myself and to the world that it doesn't make a difference whether you're spending $15 at Clinique or $4.29 on Cover Girl.

Here's another surprise: it actually does.

My new "professional" mascara goes on in four very clumpy layers and then only comes off if I pull the entire eyelash out of my skin.

Now, I'm no professional, but shouldn't this process be a little, I don't know, easier?

Or prettier??

Save yourselves. And your eyelashes. Find your nearest Clinique counter, but only during bonus time because that's the only time you can justify to your husband why you just spent $30 on a tube of mascara the size of a tampon (and not even the heavy flow kind) and a one ounce jar of foundation.

"But just look at all this free stuff!"

Friday Confessions

2011-12-30T09:48:00.000-05:00

1. This is several weeks of confessions lumped together because:

I kept forgetting it was Friday
I kept forgetting the dumb things I did/said each week
I sometimes get lazy

2. But I have an excuse: I get carried away with everything the entire month of Christmas.

Except blogging.

3. On one of the blogs I follow someone wrote "Whole Foods has a 'grow your own mushroom garden'". I read: "grow your own mustache garden" and was totally psyched!

Even though I have no idea what a mustache garden would even look like.

4. I ran into my favorite cashier (see #2) last week. This time when he saw me he said, "oh it's you...how are you?" as coyly as a 17 year old can be.

5. Last Monday I thought it was Friday.

6. I ordered a few small gifts for Corey from Amazon. They offer free shipping on some items as long as the entire order is over $25 but my order was only $24.42. I broke down and bought the cheapest thing I could find.

7. A used Don Juan Demarco DVD.

8. It was for myself.

9. A lot of people find Corey & Stacie by Google searching Devon Sawa.

My first thought: how many obsessed 13-year-old girls in the mid-90s turned obsessed late twenty-somethings are there?

And my next thought: I wonder what he looks like today....

10. I kid. I already know what he looks like today. (obsessed late twenty-something raises hand)

What?!. Have you seen him in Little Giants?? A-dor-a-ble.

And then it's over...

2011-12-28T11:41:00.001-05:00

Merry (belated) Christmas!!

In a whirlwind of Christmas activities I chose to neglect the blog.

No hard feelings though, several activities got the ax this year.

There were no Christmas cookies.

No holiday newsletter.

And my homemade gifts to all the families were less work than usual.

After a full year of blech (this is a sound effect word, I sometimes substitute actual words for sounds, don't judge) I needed to be able to enjoy this Christmas season.

And I did!

There still was a little flurry of activity toward the end, but I was still able to have actual conversations with people in which I could fully participate without scrolling through mental checklists, Corey and I were able to slip away to Lake Placid for a couple days (more on that tomorrow), and I could enjoy our church's Christmas Eve service.

People, you have no idea how necessary it was to (almost) end this year on a good note.

I may still make a huge, ginormous black X over 2011 in my mind forever and ever but for right now I can start 2012 in a pretty state of mind.

...

As long as the Giants beat Dallas on New Year's Day, of course. More on that Tuesday after I've recovered from what looks like will be a long, cold night in New Jersey.

Ten on Tuesday

2011-12-20T10:34:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile Ten on Tuesday....
1. What is your favorite online-only store?
Etsy. A thousand times Etsy! You can find handmade, unique, one of a kind items. (like felted jewelry, shameless plug) In second place: Amazon.

2. Do you enjoy wrapping gifts?
Yes, and I pride myself on my perfect corners.

However, if you've received a less-than-perfectly wrapped gift from me it's because I didn't feel like trying. Nothing personal.

3. What is the temperature in your city today?
32. Which is warm. So warm I didn't bring a coat to add to the four layers I'm already wearing. Yesterday at this time it was 20.

4. What time do you eat dinner?
Usually around 6:30 or 7:00....whenever Corey finishes making it.

Don't judge.

5. Will you be making New Years Resolutions?
Probably. And I will probably forget about them by February.

6. How old is your oldest pair of shoes that you still wear?
I have a pair of sandals I bought my junior year of high school, so 13 years. I can probably attribute their long life to me wearing grocery bags over my feet when it rained.

7. Do you have any restaurant phone numbers saved in your phone?
I have two: my favorite local eatery, GG Mama's and the Thai place for those intense pineapple fried rice cravings.

8. What is your favorite and least favorite letter to write in cursive?
I write in a combination of cursive and print. I call it lazy hand. So I only use what feels good scrolling across the page. If I don't like how my cursive r's look, I don't use 'em.

This is by far the most random question I have ever been asked in. my. life. Congrats Chelsea.

9. Do you know any good riddles?
Yes. But I don't remember a single one of them.

I have the memory of an earthworm.

10. How do you feel about snow?
Love, love, love. As long as I'm dressed for it. Like head to toe thermal, waterproof everything, and I don't care if my hair gets frizzy. I always say if it's going to be this darn cold, why not have a foot of snow to cover up all the brown?

Think about it...it makes sense.

...

Wonderful set of random questions by Chelsea, as usual! Hop over to Roots and Rings to play along!

Christmas Songs!!!

2011-12-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

It's no secret: I enjoy me some 12 Days of Christmas.

And Jingle Bell Rock.

And Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You.

But most especially 12 Days of Christmas.

Last year I posted one of my favorite versions as sung by the muppets. And today I post another favorite as sung by a coupla crazy Canadians:

Enjoy (smiley face).

Christmas Cookies!!!

2011-12-19T16:40:00.002-05:00

This post is brought to you by my mom. On those days when I just don't have it in me I can always count on, "You know your last post was FRIDAY."

Thanks, mom.

I'm really excited about this week. And for a number of different reasons:

There is nothing going on at work. I mean, there's stuff, but nothing urgent that can't wait until mid-January when everyone gets back into the swing of things.
I am stress free. I still have things to buy, wrap, and make but it's such a small manageable amount I can practically check everything off my list. I mean, without actually checking it off because then, you know, it wouldn't get done.
I'm on drugs. Just kidding. Bad joke. Sorry.

Corey and I are so stress-free we took last weekend, as in the last weekend before Christmas, to travel up to his hometown and make gingerbread cookies with his mom. It was a tradition that went back many, many years but Corey hadn't participated since we've been together. He was literally giddy to go.

I'm going to mention a key part of this story here: Corey made three gingerbread men.

Three.

As in three out of several dozen.

The rest of the time he played with the dog, talked football with his dad, and told his mom, my sister, and me we weren't doing it right because none of them looked like his.

This is my life with a perpetual eight-year-old.

We had a good time anyway; me, his mom and my sister. We were decoratin' fools!

And then we just got foolish.

But in our defense: there were a lot of cookies. And there are just so many things you can do with a little brown cookie man.

Eventually we turned some into ladies.

Well dressed ladies, if I might add.

I ended up with a well deserved stomach ache at the end of the day. After so much decorating I opted to eat the last few cookies rather than paste 'em with frosting and more sugar.

And then I ate several more the next day...for no good reason at all.

We drove home mid-day Sunday.

Luckily there was football and laundry waiting for us to really top off a fabulous weekend.

(sarcasm font)

...

And now back to the Christmas grindstone...."weeeeeeeeeee wish you a Merry Christmas!"

No one told me it was Friday

2011-12-16T12:27:00.001-05:00

Oh dear, look at the time. I completely forgot it was Friday.

And if we're going to go there, I could also say I completely forgot it was Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday!

'Tis the season to lose your head in Christmas merriment and forget about daily routines like blogging and walking the dog and deodorant. But now here we are just nine days away from the big day; the culmination of all this bustling.

(One could also say we're only eight days away from the dumbest day to leave your house. On which day Corey and I will be fighting the crowds of NYC, but more on that later. Like after I know we're going to make it home alive.)

So check back next year for a real Friday Confessions because until then I might only have to say stuff like how I'm not a fan of Michael Buble anymore because he has a potty mouth and that I got mad at Corey one night and told him what I got him for Christmas.

And then you'll hate me for being so mean.

Because, I mean, who doesn't have a potty mouth these days, right?

So until then, peace on earth and goodwill toward men.

Deck the halls with egg nog and more cookies please

2011-12-12T11:05:00.001-05:00

And now all the news that's fit to put out on the Interwebs:

Corey and I had a few friends over to celebrate Christmas Saturday night. It was a twist on our usual invite-everyone-we-know-and-hope-and-pray-none-of-them-spill-red-wine-on-the-couches Christmas event. Instead we spent a few hours munching on appetizers before heading out to our favorite restaurant for dinner.

It's simple math: less people means less chances our furniture will get ruined.

But somewhere in that formula x = Corey's dropsies and amounts to a bottle of tonic exploding everywhere and our glass Pyrex measuring cup shattering.

...

One of our guests is responsible for making egg nog every year. And I am responsible for drinking most of it. This usually leads to complaining very loudly about how hot it is right where I am standing.

Bourbon has this horrible effect of tasting oh-so-good when the burny characteristics are masked over by raw egg. You have a tendency to forget what you are drinking is going to make you tell secrets and laugh at inappropriate times.

Hypothetically, of course.

Another guest made cheese cookies, which is simply a combination of two of my most favorite things: cheese and cookies. Duh. There were chocolate crackle cookies (more of my favorite ingredients), veggies, dips and cheeses.

Food weighs heavily in how I rank events. And based on this year's weight gain I've had myself a grand time.

We made our dinner reservation for 9pm. As in one hour before I usually drift off to sleep without a belly full of eggy bourbon. I was able to stay awake and jolly through the jokes and stories and holiday merriment, but when the clock struck midnight my buggy turned back into a pumpkin and I nearly face planted into my chocolate lava cake.

My dear, sweet, I-can-function-just-fine-on-four-hours-of-sleep, husband stayed out with his friends while I crawled into bed at 12:45am. It was a miracle I managed to also crawl into pjs.

Overall, it was a lovely time, we have some pretty great family and friends.

...

Annnnnd now it's time for Christmas frenzy. Only 14 days to go, people.

Santa's crazy shopper, over and out.

Warm fuzzies for sale

2011-12-09T13:22:00.001-05:00

Aside from a few confessions, like how I sometimes pick up the phone when I hear the front door open and that I married into Fraser Fir snobbery, I have very little else on the brain than Christmas.

I've heard a rumor that it's the most wonderful time of the year.

I'd have to concur.

This is also the first holiday gift-giving season my jewelry business, SJL Original, has really been out there, available to the masses. Around this time last year I dabbled in different mediums; clay, wood, felt, wire before finally settling into the felt groove.

And my felt beads give me warm fuzzies inside and out.

So consider me tickled to be featured in the winter edition of Saratoga Living magazine written by interior designer and blogger Leah Margolis.

She gives us all the scoop on what's hot and affordable in and around our town, and although I'm quite proud of IRIS in mint with the shiny asymmetrical ball, I can't help but to wonder...

...what kind of mask is that? Boy would a facial be most welcomed right about now.

You were thinking that too?

'Tis the season for treating your pores, that's what I always say.

But I digress.

I'm just happy (and thankful to Leah!) to be included with such wonderful gift ideas. If you are in or around the Saratoga Springs area grab a magazine and shop around!

...

Thanks also to Petra at Anchor No. 5 in Troy, New York and to Christina at Sterling & Co. in Glens Falls, New York....may your stores be full of Christmas shoppers!

And may they all want fuzzy jewelry by me!

Lunchtime Tidbit

2011-12-08T14:18:00.001-05:00

There's a guy in my office right now, he's fixing one of our doors.

He's probably thinking to himself, "Why can't that girl eat without getting food all over her face??"

Because I'm hungry, sir.

I hate salad

2011-12-07T13:07:00.001-05:00

This post is brought to you by my truly horrendous lunch today.

Ever since my body realized I'm almost 30 and my metabolism retired to Del Boca Vista I've noticed a genuine need to watch what I eat.

But I ignored it.

And then my butt got big.

And then I went to a ladies Christmas program where I sampled 15 different desserts and had to unbuckle my pants to drive.

And then I tried to run on a bloated belly and found myself waddling and unable to breathe.

Time for ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, Stace!

So, on Saturday I bought myself some greens at our local farmer's market. As an avoid-salad-at-all-cost eater I was unsure of which type of greens to purchase: there were spiky greens and purple greens (?) and big greens and small greens and grass-looking greens. The nice farmer suggested a mixed bag. She said it was more of a spicy mix and that I would really enjoy it.

I hate it.

Yes, it is 100% the worst.

The spiky greens make my mouth tingle, the purple greens taste green and the other greens taste even greener than green.

My poor bottle of honey mustard put up a good fight but is completely under seasoned; it was definitely made to compliment another ingredient in the salad, one I am missing terribly. I found myself today sitting at my desk with dressing all over my face and my mouth stuffed with my horrible mixed bag of lettuce I'm "really going to like" in an attempt to get it down as fast as possible and not actually taste one bite of it.

I may or may not have immediately afterward shoved a milk chocolate truffle in my mouth.

...

So in conclusion: I gave salad a chance. Several chances, actually. And now I'm going back to carbs and brownies and big butts and walking 5k races.

Don't judge.

New Developments

2011-12-05T10:34:00.001-05:00

My family is wacky:

--My sister Kimberlie and I have a new way of communicating, we blink the Morse code (which neither of us actually knows) and then try to translate what the other is saying.

"Every Thursday you train your dolphin to fart cookies??"

What's worse: in a fit of blinks looking like you're pre-seizure or cackling in the middle of a ladies Christmas program at church?

--This same sister, in a serious conversation, said our grandmother's ashes are in a urinal.

She meant to say "urn."

--I sat down to talk to my dad in his office on Friday about some semi-serious stuff. He interrupted me:

"Hold on, I need my thinking hat."

He then put on a fedora.

...

And Corey wonders why I am the way I am.

Friday Confessions

2011-12-02T10:29:00.001-05:00

I pulled this post out of storage, it's a little dusty:

1. Sometimes I forget to keep track of things I need to confess. Like this week. Sorry in advance for the gobbledygook, or lack thereof, to follow.

2. The measured weight of my shampoo is 10.5 Fl. oz. I read this as ten point five floppy ounces. Because in my book, the abbreviation "FL" is always floppy.

3. In this weather my car goes from zero to sixty in five minutes.

4. I threw an apple in my purse, not knowing it would be swimming around in there with about eight perfume samples from the weekend. It tasted very much like Jimmy Choo's newest fragrance.

5. Corey threw out a jar of hot fudge that had at least a third still left. I may or may not have had a minor meltdown. But in my defense, when you're looking forward to hot fudge, chocolate syrup is just not an adequate substitute.

My dad will agree.

6. Speaking of my dad, we went out to breakfast this morning. I had the French toast...just like when he would take me out for breakfast Friday mornings when I was in fifth grade.

Awwww.

7. I've taken to defending Justin Bieber when slammed by co-workers, friends, people in line at the grocery store...

8. I'm jealous of people from the south. They have these cute little sayings that make any bad thing sound cute. Up here we just say what we're thinkin':

down there: "That girl is just two chickens short of a pot pie...y'all!"

up here: "She's dumb."

down there: " Well slap me silly at sunrise!"

up here: "I'm shocked."

down there: "You'll love it so much you'll wanna slap yer mama!"

up here: "It's good. Trust me."

Boooo-ring.

9. Because TV people are making more shows that are super sappy and aimed at emotional weirdos like me, my family thinks I'm preggo and just full of raging hormones.

10. I emailed a friend of mine about my busy day and how tired I was. I tried to write that I crawled in bed at 11pm but I started typing "crap." I know this is a little too much poo talk for one week, and I swear I'll take it easy for a day or two, but think about how that would have turned out...I crapped in bed?!?

**crickets**

Sheesh, tough crowd.

...

Visit Housewife Eclectic to link up and play along!

Extreme casual Thursday

2011-12-01T12:57:00.001-05:00

And on a much lighter note, Corey was funny this morning.

The dear delivers my jewelry to one of the stores that sells it because it's close to his office. This morning he was planning to make a drop but I wanted to take pictures of it all first:

"Have you taken pictures of the jewelry yet?"

"No."

"Well, I'm leaving right now."

"Corey, you're still in a towel."

Stacie says: "Love your animals, Please!"

2011-12-01T09:31:00.001-05:00

I've put my stamp on this day: it's not going to be good.

I'll make this quick because I'm a total emotional basketcase when it comes to ~~most~~ certain things.

Like animals.

Oh I love me some animals. And I've had plenty: dogs, fish, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a turtle, some lizards, a couple birds, ducks, ferrets and probably more I'm forgetting.

And when I see even the slightest hint of mistreatment I'm affected.

I saw a guy yell at his puppy for barking and then yank up on his collar while walking in Saratoga Sunday and I had to call Corey in tears. I don't know why I'm like this, but I am. Corey definitely doesn't understand it.

And today is the worst of it: a friend of ours has an appointment this afternoon to put her dog to sleep.

Her perfectly healthy seven year old dog.

I'm not going for "misery loves company" here, I have a point.

This dog, Dierks Bentley, is a pit bull that lead a much different life before he found his permanent home with our friend. He was abused and mistreated and taught to be aggressive. They were his formative years and so he carried this aggression with him.

Corey and I looked after him not too long ago. He's sweet and loves to play, walk and chase squirrels. His only flaw, besides shredding expensive comforters, is this strong desire to attack other dogs. He got that chance on Sunday. Due to a situation beyond our friend's control Dierks came into contact with a small dog and killed it.

So now he is going to die. This afternoon. I tried as hard as I could to find a better alternative; rehabilitation or placement at a farm far, far, far away from other dogs but what I found is that there are thousands of pit bulls in this same situation just in our region every single week.

And they are put down too.

This is too much for me, people. I hope it is too much for you too.

You don't have to be like Corey and me and have a special blanket so your dog can climb up on the couch because the floor is just not soft enough or make special trips for the treats he really likes. But you should, at the very least, show your animals the respect they deserve as contributing member of your household. Because they do provide in some way; either through companionship, protection or entertainment.

To treat them any other way is cruel and always leads to pain further down the road.

Let people know that.

My Thoughts, Exactly: hair care

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or is everyone talking about new methods for green hair care and face wash?

Or maybe I just have bunches of blog friends who think just. like. me. in that they want to remove unnecessary and harmful chemicals from their daily lives.

...but not just like me in taste of music.

Jump Around?

House of Pain?

Anyone?

Anyone?

...

As I usually do, I jumped blindly onto the green beauty bandwagon.

Rub baking soda all over my head?

Dunk my hair in vinegar?!

You Know It!!

No, these are actually pretty popular methods of green cleaning. And for most people they probably work just fine.

Maybe even better than your usual shampoo and conditioners.

But not for me.

Sigh.

I had high hopes thanks to Ashley and Kathryn, but it wasn't meant to be.

Or maybe I was just doing it wrong.

The first day I tried my new hair washing routine was last Wednesday. Also known as the day before Thanksgiving. I started out with a little over a tablespoon of baking soda, I made a little paste with water and rubbed it all over my head. I missed the sloshiness of shampoo, but I wasn't sending weirdo chemicals down the drain and into my skin so I carried on.

I don't have overly greasy hair and I don't have dry hair, and this was the day after the day after I last washed my hair. Normal for me.

My hair felt a little greasy. I didn't exactly know what to expect so I went to the next step: apple cider vinegar conditioner. I'd been conditioning this way for a week, ever since I ran out of my store bought conditioner. I didn't notice a difference.

Yes I did. The stuff stinks. Real bad. It's vinegar. Luckily the smell goes away once my hair dries, but sometimes I let the day do the dryin' so I carry a pretty nasty smell with me to work.

By Thanksgiving morning I assessed the grease situation and thought I'd better do another "shampoo" because it was, after all, Thanksgiving and if I was going to be seeing a ton of relatives I needed to look my best.

I wasn't overly greasy, but there was more than I'm used to on day 2 of my normal hair washing schedule.

You see me as one big grease-ball now, don't you.

It gets better.

I get ready for my shower. I "lather up" my baking soda and smear it all over my head. I work it into my problem areas. I rinse and "condition". Then I go about my morning.

I spent the next few minutes bragging about my new "green" efforts to my friend and how cool it is to care about the environment.

Then I blow dried my hair. You know, to be pretty.

When I run my hands through the back of my head I find enough grease to fry an egg.

Grrrooooooosssss.

Ohmigosh, ohmigosh what do I do??

...

First I felt stupid...and dirty. Then I closed the door so my friend wouldn't find me and laugh. My ultimate solution was to put a generous amount of water onto my hair and sweep it up into a tight bun.

"What happened? I thought you dried your hair??"

"It didn't work out weshouldprobablygorightnow."

Of all days. Sheesh!

So now we have lovely pictures of all the cousins (and cousins-in-law, ahem) in our holiday best and me with my hair slicked back with nature's hair goo.

In conclusion...don't let my experience detract you from doing your duty to save our planet, just know all fantastic results are not typical.

...

Or maybe you should make sure you're doing it right in the first place.

I honestly still don't know if I was. Whoopsie!

Ten on Tuesday

2011-11-28T16:54:00.001-05:00

A nice set of randoms (my fave!) from Chelsea at Roots and Rings to start off what I thought was Wednesday.

1. Do you wear glasses, contacts, or are you one of those perfect eyed people?
Back in sixth grade I thought it was so cool how my friend Wendy would push her glasses up by the nose piece and I wanted to be able to do it too.

I've worn glasses ever since.

Moral of the story: be careful what you wish for.

2. What is the next item you are going to purchase?
Supplies to make jewelry from which I will actually make money, so is this really a trick question??

3. Have you ever watched Judge Judy or any other real court show?
I have about thirty Matlocks on my DVR right now, so, um, yeah. I watch court shows.

4. How do you feel about fake nails?
I think they're pretty. But I have some fantastically hard nails that are in a shape I can live with so I probably will never indulge. Unless I come across some Lee press-ons in leopard print I can wear for a day.

5. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Tricky, tricky: I'll watch just about anything live. But on TV it has to be a special occasion; my Boilermakers in the NCAA championship, Giants, Saints or Colts at a sports bar, Super Bowl, or Yankees in the playoffs.

6. If you could create your own Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor, what would it be and what would it be named?
Chocolate Explosion: chocolate ice cream, with ribbons of fudge, brownie chunks and pop rocks....so it feels like your mouth is actually exploding.

7. Do you have any scars?
I have a scar next to my right eye brow (my right) from going to town on a chicken pox bump, and then I have a scar on my left knee (my left) from when my dad and I raced home from kindergarten and I fell and slid across the cement.

Oh, and then there's the mark where I had my belly button ring.

Don't judge.

8. Does your pet’s name fit them? Is there a more appropriate name?
I like non-traditional names, so I would say Oliver, being a non-traditional spazoid goofball, is plenty appropriate.

9. What is your favorite television show theme song?
Golden Girls.

"Thank you for bein' a friennnnnd. Traveled down the road and back again; your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant..."

Inspirational.

10. What was your favorite activity on the playground?
I've always been a fan of tag, but for awhile in 4th grade I spent my time on the bars. I swung around on those things like a pro doing all kinds of tricks for the other kids. But then I realized I could fall on my face and that was it.

Gobble Gobble

2011-11-28T14:53:00.001-05:00

Where do I begin?

I mean, Thursday was technically the gateway into the holiday season, and that's kind of a big deal so of course I'm going to have a story or five to tell.

But where do I begin?!

...

My BFF came into town Wednesday night with her toddler, Lucy. It was unplanned, but not unwelcomed.

Just....unplanned.

Have I mentioned Corey and I do not have children?

Or that our "baby proofing" previously consisted of moving items that would be attractive to a Golden Retriever mouth?

A few mistakes:

left Oliver-dog's food bowls on the floor
left wool for felting on ottoman

If you put two and two together you get a few necklaces and bracelets smelling like salmon and beef jerky.

We did our usual two meals on Thanksgiving. First with my family where I swore I would not stuff my face, but stuffed my face anyway, and then with Corey's family where I had no more room to stuff.

So I stuffed my pockets.

Just kidding. But, seriously, I wish I had.

On Friday I replaced my dad's and my traditional 3am Black Friday outing for an 11am shove match at the outlet mall where I found a pair of red corduroy stretchy pants at Banana Republic for $10. I'm so glad I like the clothes no one else wants. I lean toward stretchy now that my Summer of Carbs has turned into a Fall of Cookies and I'm getting all squishy.

By then our house was baby free and in the afternoon while Corey let loose with the vacuum I was able to felt my way to arthritis. The process I now use involves stabbing small balls of wool with special needles, so I guess it was appropriate that I stabbed away to the 48 Hours Mystery marathon on TLC.

The rest of our holiday weekend was slow and uneventful.

I declared Saturday to be a day of inside projects and that is where I stayed. Inside. Washing sheets, felting, eating and not showering. And on Sunday I accidentally got a spatula stuck in my stand mixer and flung cookie dough across the kitchen.

Corey was mad. I think he's glad I'm back to work and away from his kitchen where I tend to make messes.

I made quite a few messes.

First with the two pumpkin pies.

Did you know I have this thing about making my pies from scratch? It takes me three hours and I do actually get flour on everything, including the dog.

Then I made a green bean casserole.

Did you know I have this thing about making my cooking projects more difficult than they need to be? I may or may not have sent Corey on a mission for bacon Thanksgiving morning.

Then I made dog treats for each of the ten dogs we encounter in our whirlwind, cross county Thanksgiving tour.

Did you know I have this thing about turning myself into Martha Stewart? Fancy packaging, dog bone labels, wood basket and all?

Lord help me if I were to ever be a full time housewife.

And Lord help my waistline.

But now, finally, I'm back to work. The daily grind.

...counting down the days until the next round of holiday madness.

Tidbits

2011-11-21T12:33:00.001-05:00

Here are a few nuggets to start your (hopefully short!) work week:

1. My hair smells like vinegar.

It's, um, a natural conditioner. Or so I've heard. Right now all I know is that I have a mason jar full of something that looks like pee and smells worse that I have committed to dunking the ends of my hair into after every wash.

2. I still have the jitters from a coffee I drank yesterday.

And it wasn't even a good coffee.

3. Our weekend revolved around smells: my breath and Oliver's butt.

That's a story that doesn't need telling, there is no happy ending.

4. Yes there is, the foul odors have been eliminated. The End.

But just so you aren't picturing strange things happening at my house, let me assure you my breath and Oliver's butt are in no way connected. I just happened to be emitting a "hickory" scent (as Corey described it) from my mouth while Oliver had a few glandular issues.

Butt glands. He had butt gland overflow.

Sorry.

5. The coffee also made me dizzy and nauseous and hungry.

6. I am still dizzy and nauseous and hungry.

7. I am only working two days this week.

My brain has started vacation early.

Like, today.

Friday Confessions

2011-11-18T12:42:00.000-05:00

1. I had a few bobby pins sitting on my desk. I almost used them as paper clips.

2. While running last week I definitely saw a thong hanging by a rear view mirror.

3. I thought it was a baby hat. A shiny red baby hat.

4. When we first moved to Indiana I begged my mom to let us stay home for our very first "snow."

It was frost.

5. I remember what I meant by my Confessions note last week: pig squeeze poo. It was another crazy awkward google keyword search.

I wish I could remember where I wrote those words. It must be hilarious.

6. I would also like to know where I referred to an "intestine train."

Also hilarious.

7. I saw a People.com headline about the Jonas Brothers considering a reunion.

I was unaware they are not still together.

And I am shocked no one told me.

8. If I won the lottery I would by a very large air compressor for my mom.

9. I caused a powdered cheese explosion in my parents' kitchen. Pressure + powdered cheese packet + rushing to finish making dinner before Bible study = cheese all over stove and kitchen floor.

Whoopsie.

10. I eat boxed macaroni and cheese. The kind in the shape of bunnies.

...

Happy Friday!!

2011 goals revisited

2011-11-17T16:21:00.001-05:00

I looked at my calendar today. Like, really looked at it. Not the "please tell me today is Thursday because I could really use an 'it's almost Friday' pick-me-up" kind, more like "what are those teeny tiny little numbers in the bottom corner?"

Those numbers said there are only 44 days left in 2011.

Uh oh.

Hey, remember 321 days ago when I posted my New Year's resolutions? I had ten of them, they weren't too hard...remember?

Yeah, me neither. Which means I probably have not had much success in keeping them:

1. Train for the triathlon in June.

A triathlon?! I wanted to do this? Oh yes, that was before I found out about my trick knee.

Fail.

2. Break my addiction to carbs and brownies.

This was over before it even started. In fact, I declared this past summer The Summer of Carbs. I can no longer fit into my clothes.

Super fail.

3. Save up enough money for a down payment on the house I love.

It's hard to save money when you get $185 tickets for talking on your cell phone.

Fail.

4. Convince Corey he loves the house too.

The house sold two months ago. I only just stopped crying myself to sleep.

Grrr fail.

5. Stop smoking.

Yes! But I didn't smoke to begin with so does this count?

6. Hold Corey and myself to weekly date nights.

I can count the number of dates on half of one hand.

Fail.

7. Leave the workforce to raise four kids, wear a frilly apron, and cook homemade pot pies.

You tell me.

8. Finish reading my Bible already.

I will actually be done by the end of the year!! It only took me two years.

....for goodness sake.

9. Find a charity and offer up my services.

Oh boy did I. There is a reason The Summer of Carbs existed; it's because it was also The Summer Stacie Was Never Home Because She Had Two Meetings A Day For The Soup Kitchen Fundraiser And Had To Eat Whatever She Could Get Her Hands On.

I normally shorten the title when I refer to it.

10. Enter and win a pie eating contest.

I still have time...and half a pie in my refrigerator.

Just noticed I wanted to give up carbs and eat a ton of carbs all in the same set of goals.

...

Soooooo, two and a half completed out of ten. Not too bad considering I completely forgot about them and any amount of completion was entirely coincidence.

I plan on making 2012 goals much simpler.

Like, "make pee pee in the potty."

And "buy a pair of pants."

We Want To Know: Can You Sing??

2011-11-16T12:40:00.001-05:00

{1} Do you have any musical talents?
I played the trombone in my high school's marching, jazz and concert bands (geek alert). It was one of those instruments where you could spot pretty easily who did and did not know their stuff.

"Hey, why is that girl with the frizzy hair and glasses not moving her slide like the rest of 'em??"

{2} What role, if any, does music play in your life?
Very little. I don't play my trombone anymore (seriously, it's a trombone) and I don't have the radio on much. I figure, if I'm going to have something that sucks my attention I'd rather it be a TV show about zombies, polygamy, or the state of prison systems across America.

(i have varied interests...)

{3} What is your all time favorite song?
It changes day by day. At the moment: House of Pain's Jump Around.

{4} Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes I hum in the shower. I save the real singing for the car where I know no one can hear me.
{5} Has a song ever made you cry?
Movies make me cry, TV shows make me cry, commercials make me cry...so I'm pretty sure at some time a song has made me cry.

...

Thanks to Mamarazzi, Queso and Crazymama for hosting!

Embarrassing Moment #1096

2011-11-15T12:12:00.001-05:00

A word of caution: hopping over a fence is not as effortless as you think it should be.

"Yeah, all I have to do is grab hold of this top part here and throw my legs over the side there and bippidy boppidy here I am. Other side."

You see where this is going.

...

I walk Oliver-dog most mornings; we take different routes depending on how much time we have and whether or not O has been cooped up for days because of weather and extreme digestion that necessitated me being within close proximity to "the facilities" at all times.

Hypothetically.

Today's route took us to a small park at a rec center where I can throw a ball and my little spazoid can frolic and run without me needing to do more than stand in one place.

In this park is a water feature for the kiddies; a round cement area where bursts of water squirt up little behinds and into eyes and for some reason they love it. But because we're so close to winter the feature is covered with a tarp and blocked off with a flimsy three foot fence made of wooden stakes.

That detail is important later.

So there dork-brains and I are; me throwing the ball, he running wild with lips and eye lids flapping. If you know me at all, you can imagine a 20ft in diameter cordoned off space is just the type of target I'm able to hit when I'm not trying to hit it.

Of course, the dang ball lands right in the middle of the tarp. I stand there and ponder two very difficult choices:

leave the ball because it's a tennis ball for goodness sake and you have about a dozen lost in the bushes behind your apartment.
get the ball because it's just right there and you know how much you hate to waste and that ball could be worth, like, a whole quarter.

Number two wins. I find a saggy part of the fence and hop the two feet over into the tarped area. No problem.

But there was a problem. The fence sagged inward, which means the wooden spikes were now facing me and I would most certainly impale myself if I tried to go out the same way. So as I started to panic about being trapped I considered other options.

Luckily it was only 7am; there was one car in the parking lot and it most likely belonged to someone in the neighborhood who left it overnight. I was alone in my ridiculousness.

At least that's what I was hoping.

I move around to a more sturdy side of the fence, test out the wires looping the stakes together and decide I would just have to hoist myself up and over.

(this was after trying to grab hold of the top and bounce my way over, realizing I can only pick my legs up two feet)

I jam my foot in between the stakes on top of the wire and set myself up. I get my right leg over and I'm almost proud of myself when my left foot gets stuck in the fence and I end up dangling by one of the stakes. I pull my right butt muscle as I'm in a near-split trying to free my foot. Foot finally clears but my leg was stuck on the stake. More stretching, aaaaaaaand release.

I start to think how that so was not worth it when I hear:

"You know, I wouldda used a stick or somthin'."

Oh dear sweet bubbalicious. This man watched the entire thing.

"So you saw...all that?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok, well I'm out now, so....OLIVER!"

And off we went, with a slight limp and several splinters in my butt.

...

Oh, and after all that, my darling dog managed to lose the ball.

Communication Nightmare

2011-11-15T12:01:00.001-05:00

In the middle of an argument on how I'm so mad that Corey never listens to me he interrupts me to say:

"Why don't you just tell me what you're mad at??"

I have. no. words.

A Plea To All My Girlfriends

2011-11-09T15:41:00.001-05:00

Hey ladies, can we stop trying to kill chivalry here?

Srsly.

I know we all think we can do anything the boys can do and we don't need nobody treating us like sissy girls who need a man to kill spiders and open up those tricky mayonnaise jars.

But, um...I can't do everything the boys can do.

And, uh....I would prefer to be treated like the hormonal, irrational, physically weaker girl that I am.

Boy am I glad to get that out!

Yep. I have scrawny little arms more suited for whipping up meringues than pouring concrete. Were I required to join a profession that called for manual labor I would fall behind. That's just a fact. I can show you my arms, they're pretty worthless.

So, as I am oh-so-secure in my daintiness, I would appreciate a little recognition of the hours spent making said desserts with a door held open.

"Why thank you sir, and may the Lord bless you with a wife, mother, daughter, niece, nice lady neighbor, etc. willing to share her lady skills like listening to you complain about your job, complimenting your new hair cut or bringing you hot chocolate as you shovel snow."

I also, as a girl, suffer from the little known ailment: raging hormones and enough estrogen to cause me to cry like a baby during Cheaper by the Dozen and While You Were Sleeping. I view the world with my emotions and I am moved easily.

With that said, I would like to be spoken to like the fragile thing that I am, on the verge of cracking....which I may or may not be depending on the day.

Or hour.

I like to be offered a place to sit.

I like the bacon brought home.

And I like protection from the dark, serial killers, and zombies.

So whoever is spreading the rumor that none of us gals like to be treated like gals please leave your generalizations in your pockets so I can be who I am; hormones, weak arms, chocolate hoarding, and all.

Thanksomuch.

Ten on Tuesday

2011-11-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Election Day!!

Read. Then go VOTE.

1. What’s your favorite television show for each day of the week?
Monday: DVRed Sister Wives
Tuesday: New Girl
Wednesday: Modern Family
Thursday: Parks and Rec
Friday: whatever crime show marathon happens to be on

I watch too much TV. But if you try to take away my shows I'll go crazy monkey on your face.

2. How many times do you wear your jeans before you watch them?
Quite a few, but that's only because I only wear them for a couple hours before getting back into jammies.

I will be putting Pajama Jeans on my Christmas list this year. My two favorite things in one.

3. What is your favorite pasta shape?
Spiral. It keeps me young.

And when I was a kid I would swallow them whole thinking they were made to spiral down your throat.

4. Do you read newspapers?
Everyday at work. For the same reason I read actual books and not those e-reader contraptions all the young people keep walkin' around with.
5. Do you sleep in socks?
I start sleeping in socks. But because my body is a human electric blanket I kick them off.

I don't always find both socks right away.

6. Favorite genre of movies?
Ummmm, probably a tie between comedy and romantic comedy.

I like to keep things silly.

7. How do you feel about wrestling?
Nope. Don't like it one bit. I'm too afraid someone's gonna break their neck.

I have this fear of breaking my neck. It's in my top 10. Weird.

8. Should men pluck their eyebrows?
Some men should. The ones who have unibrows. I don't think it's necessary to pluck to shape the brow.

9. Do you have dimples?
I have a couple. My mother-in-law pokes at them.

But I have confessed I would like to poke a chin dimple so I can't really fault her.

10. Do you like to camp?
I love, love, love to camp. Love it. Love. I would do it right now if someone could assure me I would not be cold every single second of it. You know, with it getting down to 20 degrees at night...

...

Happy Tuesday! Visit Chelsea for some more randomness!

Weekend Wrap Up: Food and Food

2011-11-07T14:31:00.000-05:00

I can literally sum up Corey and my entire weekend in 11 bullets.

horse racing (a little thing called Breeder's Cup....uh, hello?)
sewing class
food
jammies
cold
power outage
felting
bridal expo
walk
jammies
zombies

Yaaaay.

There was some excitement when on Saturday I thought it was Sunday, and had to remind myself that I still had one more day in my weekend.

And then there was more excitement when I remembered Sunday night that I have election day and veteran's day off.

And then I was a bucket of nerves watching my zombie show.

Seriously, this thing is getting just a little too real for me but I just have to see what happens to Rick and his band of zombie killers, especially now that Lori is pregnant.

The end of the world is not a good time for maritals.

But I digress.

I was ok with our lack of plans. With Christmas and all those other holidays coming I doubt we'll have too many more commitment free days. And I got a bunch of felting out of the way. So much so that I'm finding aches in muscles I didn't know I had.

The price of hard work....(sigh.)

And Corey had time to make one killer meal including dessert. He told me to take a picture of it (brought some with me for lunch today) for all the Internets to see. But I devoured it, making my usual sloppy eating noises, and before I knew it my bowl was empty.

You'll just have to take my word for it. Awesome food for an awesomely quiet weekend.

The End.

Friday Confessions

2011-11-04T09:41:00.001-04:00

1. I write myself little notes so I can remember what I need to confess for the week. But I have no clue what "pig squeeze poo" is supposed to mean.

It was probably a great story.

2. I tried. Oh boy did I try. But I just can't make myself like that George Stephanopoulos.

3. My dad's mom has always reminded me of Betty White....a Mexican Betty White.

4. Last week or so I mentioned I could watch Christmas Vacation non stop for the rest of my life, or something to that effect. I am adding Baby Mama to that list.

5. And Don Juan DeMarco.

6. In my old age I'm starting to forget when to use affect and effect.

7. I am also losing the ability to care.

8. When the construction crew was pulling up the sidewalks at my office I was unable to keep my eyes off the action. I may have missed my life's calling.

9. Corey has a horrible habit of forgetting where he put his phone when he walks in the door. In one of the latest frantic searches I said it's probably somewhere strange like in the fridge. He looked in the fridge. No, no, like the fridge.

It was in the laundry basket.

10. My latest quirk: I sing random songs all day long.

"Everybody's workin for the weekend..."

...

Happy Friday!

We Want To Know: How You Celebrate!

2011-11-02T14:38:00.001-04:00

{1} How did you celebrate Halloween? Trick or treating? Adult party? Trunk or treat?
First let me say I am loving this new trunk or treat thing, and I can just picture the cool mom's trunk overflowing with candy. Mmmm....Snickers. But no, this Halloween I did nothing. We do, however, have a costume lined up for O-dog next year:

{2} What candy is your favorite/the first thing you steal from the kids?
If I had kids from which to steal candy, first would come the Smarties, followed by Dots, and then Tootsie Roll Pops.

You thought I was going to say chocolate.

I know. Sometimes I surprise myself.

{3} What kind of candy do you give out, is it your favorite? or something you know you won't be tempted to eat?
We don't live in a trick-or-treat friendly building. That's the life of an apartment dweller. But if we were to hand anything out I wouldn't be the one to buy it. Corey would beat me to it by several months and we would be handing out king size candy bars.

{4} How soon after Halloween do you take down decorations and put away costumes?
I set out fall decorations, not Halloween specific. I'm already plenty afraid I'm going to find real ghosts and zombies wandering around my apartment in the dark.

{5} When do you decorate for the next holiday?
We'll put up our Christmas tree soon after Thanksgiving. And we usually leave a few days after New Year's Day. There's a real emotional void around that time, so it's hard to give up the last reminant of a whirlwind holiday season.

...

Yay for the most wonderful time of the year!!

Morning

2011-11-02T14:17:00.000-04:00

God bless Corey.

Seriously. Bless the stuff out of him.

I had myself a morning this morning. Oh yes sir, I was on the border of a mental breakdown and poor Corey was on the other end of it:

"(blubber blubber blubber) my clothes don't fit!! (blubber blubber blubber) what am I supposed to do with my life?! (blubber blubber) we never eat vegetables! (blubber blubber blubber blubber) my hair is so plain and ugly!! (blubber blubber blubber) and then there's my face! (blubber blubber)..."

Pause.

".....Beetle, we can start eating veggies."

Goodness gracious, through the phone I could almost hear him trying to think of the right response.

Boy did he hit that nail on the head.

Weekend Wrap Up: Rednecks and Ghost Stories

2011-11-01T15:44:00.000-04:00

Happy belated Halloween everybody!!

I hope it was spooktacular to whatever degree in which you are most comfortable! My Halloween was a tad less than thrilling this year. There was some felting, I cleaned out a closet, saw a few trick-or-treaters walk by, ventured out into a downtown establishment where I played the mental game of "is that wart real or fake?", and then snuggled into bed with Oliver and Matlock.

Edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff.

But that's what most people expect when Halloween falls on a stinkin' Monday.

Now, my Halloween weekend? That was fun.

Thirty minutes of it, to be exact.

My sister Kimberlie and I have a standing date at the Double M Haunted Hayride every October. There's a field, a tractor, some hay and mayhem. I wouldn't call it knock-yer-socks-off (or as my friends to the south say: I wouldn't want to slap my mama) but a good time, nonetheless.

Our ritual: we meet at my apartment, laugh about how many layers we're wearing (3 pairs of pants this year, a record), make scream faces for the camera, and giggle all the way to the farm. We had an extra this year, Kimberlie's friend Logan who proved to be a good fit in our night of shenanigans.

Shenanigans that started the second we sat down on that flat-bed.

"'OMG I'm at the Haunted Hayride!!' Now as soon as you're done texting your BFF put your cell phone in a zippered pocket!"

Jolly security guards, priceless.

"I just soaked through ALL layers of my pants."

It was snowing, by the way, and the hay was wet. We did not pee our pants prior to the hayride.

Or during, actually. To clarify further.

So we ride around. Dead bodies jumped out at us, zombie school children followed us around, we even saw the headless horseman:

"Awwww, can I pet the horse?"

Fail.

Being oh-so-slightly wound, I jumped at the slightest movement. I also screamed loudly. My whole body is still sore from the tension that came from knowing something was going to jump out at me and force me to scream right in my neighbor's ear.

It's one of those reflexes I just cannot control.

But all of that is plain fun! I love being scared, one night a year.

In the last part of our hayride we encountered a redneck village full of dilapidated trailers and cannibal toothless wonders. Men in overalls and flannel ran out of their homes screaming at us, and some even followed our tractor!

One of these bufoons startled Logan and she screamed.

Logan: "I'm sorry!"

Kimberlie: "Did you just apologize for screaming?"

Redneck: "It's because she farted."

Everyone within earshot: "Hahaha!"

Redneck: "Hey...(to the person leading our group) be careful, this one right here FARTED."

After we de-tractored I heard a few people whispering:

"That's the girl who farted."

Poor Logan.

But all fart jokes aside, this year's adventure was my favorite.

The rest of the night include a haunted house, ice cream and enough of The Shining to reach and exceed my creep tolerance, about an hour and a half.

And now I'm set until next year.

Friday Confessions

2011-10-28T09:42:00.001-04:00

1. Last week in my office I uttered the words, "Is that mouse poop??"

**shudder**

2. I'm not afraid of mice, for the record, but I do get the heebie-jeebies thinking of what else might have mouse doodie all over it.

3. My co-worker's computer crashed while helping me with research.

...on erectile dysfunction. Apparently the appropriate medication for such condition is not covered by Medicaid.

My job is fun.

4. I can't imagine the Google search keywords that will bring people here now.

5. Currently, readers find me by searching arm fat crease, "my uterus", and brownie turds.

6. I made phone reservations last week and called in to check on them Monday. They had my name written down as "Stacie Roofus."

7. Also on Monday I had pie with ice cream for dinner.

8. I then had pie for dessert.

Because I'm an adult now.

9. There is snow on the ground. Right now. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. No, no, I am happy and excited for all kinds of snow-related activities, but why no easing into it?

10. Yesterday I could not identify a picture of Vice President Joe Biden. I am a sad American.

...

Happy Friday, y'alls!

Working Conditions

2011-10-26T14:24:00.002-04:00

I've lost my focus for the day.

There's just something about a heavy piece of machinery that makes me want to hop in and take it for a spin.

Seriously, how hard could it be?

If The History Channel Says It Can Happen...

2011-10-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

Remember this list?

Remember how I said I'm a tad nervous, although irrationally, that I just might find a zombie standing in my shower waiting to take a big bite out of my trapezius?

(that's the muscle in your neck leading to your shoulders and back. i don't know, i just imagine this to be the most convenient place to bite...)

Remember what channel The New Girl is on? Because I can't seem to find it....

But I digress.

I am still 99% sure a zombie invasion is not right around the corner, and I'm still convinced there is something real silly about turning on all the lights and checking my closet just in case, but when it's dark outside, and I'm all alone...

...and The History Channel airs a program interviewing scientists (scientists of all people!) who say a zombie take over is possible and people should be prepared....

....and there are actual people out there (Zombie Squad) who train for this type of event....

....and I just happen to see the numbers "666" twice in one day....

I get a little nervous. Like "Oliver, run upstairs and get your ball so I can see if you get startled by someone being there who shouldn't be there" nervous.

Or "I'll make a lot of noise with this giant stick in my hand to draw them out of their hiding places" nervous.

(we have sticks in our apartment, but i swear they are usually only used for decoration)

One day I'll grow up.

...

Today is not that day, my friends.

To Snickers, Or Not To Snickers

2011-10-25T14:23:00.001-04:00

You know how there are some days you wish you had taken your own advice that morning and hid a Snickers bar in your purse and forced yourself to forget about it so that you could stumble upon it at that magical three o'clock hour where your chocolate/junk craving is at it's worst?

Today is that day.

Ten on Tuesday

2011-10-25T11:44:00.002-04:00

Something funny is going on in this week's Ten on Tuesday....someone has babies on the brain!

1. What is the worst compliment you have ever received?
I'm sure there have been plenty of cringe-worthy compliments, but all I can think of are times my attributes were made fun of: like when my Grandpa Danny would call me bugle lips. Or when my classmates would laugh at my soccer sweatshirt that said "All Star Stacie" on it.

Don't cry for me. It didn't hurt my feelings for a second.

Boy do I miss those carefree, self-confident days!

2. Did you/would you tell everyone the name of your baby before they were born, keep it a secret, or not choose until after they were born?
No kids here. And I can't say for sure what we will or won't do, but I know I probably won't want to reveal a name until it's hatched.

Now the gender on the other hand, I'm not sure I'll want to keep that a secret...even from myself!

3. What is your favorite candle smell?
Christmas Tree. We already have one going in our apartment.

4. What is the best birthday/Christmas gift you received when you were pregnant or the best birthday/Christmas gift you gave a pregnant person that was really appreciated?
Well.....I haven't known too many preggos, but for the few I have gotten gifts for I'm sure the bottles, crib sheets, and socks came in handy at some point.

5. Who was your favorite teacher?
Most of the teachers I had in Indiana (6th-12th) were wonderful. Mr. Culp did magic tricks, Mrs. Greene is the nicest person I've ever known, Mr. Larimer let us call him Ebola Stan and play tricks on other science classes, Mr. Kirkton told lame math jokes and listened to Hank Williams during class, Mr. Jones, Peterson, Spradling, and Golden as my band teachers I spent more time with than my own parents.

The list, literally, goes on and on and on and....

6. What is the best game/activity you have ever played at a baby shower?
I'm a fan of the game where you eat chocolate out of diapers and try to guess what kind it is. It combines my love of bathroom humor and chocolate into one tacky activity.

7. What was your major in college and did you end up using it in your career?
I was a communications major in college and yes I do use my skills in my current job because I am required to communicate.

Lame.

8. What is a beauty product you swear by?
I am in love with Crabtree & Evelyn's pomegranate body lotion. It makes my skin silky smooth, but the best part is the clean, slightly fruity smell (I am not a fruity smell kind of person) that stays with me for-ev-er.

Call me crazy, but I like to smell good.

9. What is the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
For me? Hold open a door? I don't remember, but I have seen over a thousand strangers work toward giving Special Olympics athletes the time of their lives. That's pretty special.

10. If you could recommend one new baby necessity, what would it be?
A momma and daddy that love each other. Other than that, I've got nuthin'.

You know, because all Corey and I have is a dog...

...

Play along, link up over at Chelsea's!

Weekend Wrap Up: Olympians and Football

2011-10-24T15:44:00.000-04:00

Stacie: A+ weekend, could not have been better.

Corey: pppsshhhhh, glad that's over.

Obviously, not everyone is going to have a super fabulous time every single minute of every single day. That's why it's so great when there are a series of good things that last over several consecutive minutes.

Unfortunately, Corey had to work Saturday and Sunday on a huge last minute project for his bosses. And this is after working non-stop on a previous huge last minute project. The last thing anyone wants to do after days of stress is to commit to a weekend of stress.

But he did it, and only slightly resisted.

What a trooper.

Lucky for him, 'tis the season for so much football you'll want to poke your eyes out with a rusty fork.

...or is it just me?

So he had not one, not two, but (what felt like) a million games to watch both afternoons. Yaaaay.

My weekend, on the other hand, was full of goodness. My activities were ooooozing goodness.

I was fortunate enough to hook up with Special Olympics for their state games held near my town on Saturday where I was stationed at the golf event. I followed around two athletes and their coaches as they played an alternate shot, 9-hole round.

My job was to keep score and make sure they followed the rules. Although I do still play golf, I can't say I've actually played by the rules since my days on my high school's team. So my knowledge of the nit-picky stuff was rusty.

We didn't run into too many problems. Only about a dozen lost balls.

And one very. large. water hazard.

Later on in the day, maybe it was within hour three of the four hour round of 9-holes, one of the athletes and I started talking about Halloween:

me: "So, do you dress up for Halloween?"

D: (looks at me for a second) "I'm 37 years old."

me: (taking foot out of mouth)

D: "I have to find a girlfriend."

Nice job, Stace. But we were still friends, and I cheered like a crazy lady when he won a silver medal later in the day.

After a full day of golf and golf activities I had me one heck of a night relaxing on the couch, eating a Moe's burrito and razzleberry pie. This was followed by a lovely lunch with my family after church on Sunday and an afternoon of (more) football with Corey and the gang. Of course, I ended my night with more razzleberry pie with ice cream and apple crisp on the side.

Great. Great, great, great, great, great.

"Yeah, it was alright...."

Big News, But It's Probably Not What You're Thinking...

2011-10-20T11:36:00.000-04:00

Zombies.

...

.....

See? Kind of a let down?

Well pick yourself right back up because we've got some good stuff to cover. Ninety minutes of stuff to be exact because the season premier of The Walking Dead on AMC started Sunday night and I am all kinds of tickled about it!

Do you watch the show?

Or do you lean more toward Gossip Girl?

World News with Diane Sawyer?

Everybody Loves Raymond??

I tend to enjoy all flavors of TV programming; this one in particular because the actors are talented, no big names or egos; it doesn't go off the deep end into sci-fy land with crazy conspiracy theories and aliens; and everything is so realistic from the make up to the plots, interactions and dialogues.

Bravo AMC. I now have a genuine fear of standing up after spitting toothpaste out in the sink and finding a zombie right behind me.

Seriously, the odds seem pretty good that one day this virus is going to literally eat us. And then other people are going to start eating us. And then you have this world full of people eating people just wandering around looking for more people.

So in this week's episode things pick up where they left off last season.

Surprise.

I don't remember if the band of live people we met last year have a plan or if they're wandering aimlessly to find other people who are not yet dead.

Nevertheless, they are on the road again. And in 90 minutes I was able to take away the following:

Hiding from zombies is possible if they don't already know you are there.
Hiding under already dead zombies, while gross, is protection from the ones who, um, aren't dead dead.
Churches are using recordings of bells these days.
Not everyone is able to get along, even if you are fighting the same zombies.

And then there was all kinds of running and screaming and shooting zombies. So cool.

Not much of a wrap-up, I know. But the show was on Sunday night and this is Thursday, and based on what you know of my lack of memory..........

I know, sad. But I do remember that I liked it!

...

So amigos, have a fantastic day and I hope you can sleep at night without thinking of dead people.

We Want To Know: What's Going on in Your Head?

2011-10-19T10:43:00.002-04:00

Let's get down to business.

{1} When was the last time you lost your temper?
This morning. I was in the bathroom getting ready for work while Corey was in the shower. He asked me to open the door so the mirror wouldn't get all foggy and I said I would. A minute later (still with hair gel in my hands) he yells "OPEN THE DOOR!!" It startled me and I couldn't believe he was yelling at me about it! So I yelled back "GIVE ME A MINUTE!!!"

Turns out he wasn't yelling at me. He thought I was in the other room. Whoopsie!

{2} What 3 words best describe you?
Goofy; because I do enjoy wearing a good fake mustache now and then. Busy; because I rarely have moments of nothing to do...by choice. Christian; because it should be apparent that I'm living my life for God.

{3} What movie could you watch over and over again and never get tired of?
Christmas Vacation. I can't get enough of cousin Eddie, the Christmas lights, the grandparents, the squirrel, the boss, the dog, the mall scene, cat food in the jello mold, the Pledge of Allegiance, the pool...all of it. All of it!!

{4} If you could do something dangerous, just once, with no risk, what would you do?
Sky dive, but I would most likely have a heart attack before jumping. Call me crazy but since I already have a fear of flying and a fear of heights my nerves might just get the better of me.

Then why pick skydiving??

{5} Which is more important intelligence or common sense?
Common sense. You can fake being smart, but you can't fake good decisions. Put that on a t-shirt.

...

Thanks to Mamarazzi, Queso, and Crazymama for a lovely set of the most random questions I think they could have come up with!

Don't Worry, He's Gonna Make It

2011-10-18T19:58:00.000-04:00

"Beetle, I think I pulled my groin muscle."

Famous last words.

Or first words...I guess that would fit our situation best.

Let me preface this story with the disclaimer that Mr. Lucas did approve the following information to be leaked to all corners of the globe through the power of the Interwebs. This will neither be my last post nor will you see any formal apology for what I am about to write.

But really, it's not that bad. I'm just gonna talk about Corey's crotch a little bit.

Now without further ado...

Corey and I spent the wee hours of Saturday morning in the emergency room. He. Was. Injured. We're not sure how it happened, or when it happened, but it happened. Something was horribly wrong.

...

"Corey, why do you keep grabbing yourself like that??"

"What?? I have to help pick my leg up...it hurts!!"

"But we. are. in. Public!"

This was Friday night. We decided to meet up with friends for drinks and apps despite Corey's fragile condition and the rain.

I feel like at his age a lot of aches and pains can be now be blamed on the weather.

Anyway, we see our friends, we laugh, we eat, I eat off of everyone's plates, we laugh some more. I noticed Corey propping his foot up on the bottom rung of those high bar chairs.

"It's the only thing that makes it feel better."

(foreshadow)

Next thing I know it's 3:30am and I'm woken up by a tap, tap, tap.

"Hey Beetle, I think I need to go to the ER."

"Wha....why?"

"This thing hurts!"

"Ok, did you try laying a different way?"

So he tosses and turns. I doze off.

"It feels a little better when I sit up like this."

"Ok, so we'll prop you up in the chair in the living room and...."

"No. I need to go to the ER."

(Lord give me compassion because you know how much of a bear I am without my beauty sleep)

**BOINK!**

Granted.

"Ok, Cor. Let's go."

Now, the moral of this story....well, there really is none. We drove to the hospital, he got shot up with some extra strength ibuprofen in the keester, and we drove back home.

But what I think us ladies, and some of our gentlemen, can derive is some amusement in the differences between our sexes.

It's the I-feel-like-my-uterus-is-going-to-explode-better-fold-this-laundry VS. I-have-tummy-grumblies-please-hold-me.

Or just-sliced-tip-of-finger-off-chopping-onions-must-feed-family VS. I'm-sorry-this-bunion-on-my-foot-prevents-me-from-mowing-the-lawn-ever.

And my favorite I-may-feel-like-swine-flu-is-stabbing-me-in-the-chest-but-I-need-to-see-who-wins-America's-Next-Top-Model VS. I'll-be-late-to-work-because-I'm-going-to-have-this-ingrown-hair-looked-at-by-the-doctor-because-I'm-sure-it's-not-just-a-pimple.

(of course this is entirely hypothetical)

You're nodding your head, aren't you.

It's MY Time To Shine!

2011-10-17T11:37:00.000-04:00

What's this business about nerdy being the new black?

Word on the street is glasses and Star Wars are not only okay, but trendy. Love video games, Gremlins and Sonic breakfast burritos? You are now part of the cool kids club.

Why was this not an option in Jr. High as I entered into frog jumping contests and wore Muppet characters on my over sized clothing? I so would have been the coolest.

Fortunately, I managed to hold on to parts of that inner geek that was never entirely eliminated when I learned how to de-frizz my hair, wear clothes that fit, and adopt normal hobbies like going to the ballet and watching Hoarders on A&E.

For example, I geek Matlock.

I geek highwater sweatpants for laying around the house.

I geek macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.

I geek the color purple.

I geek glasses.

I geek random facts.

I geek movies and shows about aliens.

I geek movies and shows about zombies.

I geek correct grammar.

I geek fart jokes.

I geek reading.

I geek Friday nights at home.

...and so on.

I used to geek All My Children. But then I got a job and now I'm geeking full time employment.

Needless to say, I'm part of the cool kids club.

Finally!!

It only took years of slouch boots, acid washed jeans, shoulder pads, shirts tied around waists, skinny jeans, ballet flats, and UGG boots to get me here.

Now let's just all try our hardest to keep this new nerd culture going. For my sake.

Friday Confessions

2011-10-14T09:57:00.001-04:00

1. Part of my vacation (more on that later) was spending a few days with my grandpa and his wife in their home. During this time I may or may not have swiped one of their remotes in order to turn the volume down.

2. I also may or may not have had an outside-my-body experience over the buffet food they got down there in the south.

3. We fed the catfish in my grandpa's pond our leftovers. Including a Sonic double bacon cheeseburger.

4. I will probably brag a lot about my grandpa when I get around to posting a vacay recap. Just a heads up.

5. I found out Wednesday Corey is afraid of spiders. He tried to catch one in a mass of paper towels as it repelled from our ceiling but it got away, then he spent the next 10 minutes on his hands and knees looking for it.

"Corey, you are not going to find that iddy biddy spider. He's gone."

"He's not gone. Will you switch couches with me??"

6. I am not afraid of spiders. Unless they are on me. The same applies to insects, rodents, stray hairs that feel like spiders, little pieces of dead grass that look like spiders, etc.

7. At my friend's wedding on Saturday were little pieces of wrapped candy scattered all around the tables. I stuffed as many into my purse as I could fit.

8. She said it was ok.

9. I ate them all yesterday.

10. My diet starts today. After my breakfast of one huge helping of oatmeal smothered in brown sugar and walnuts.

It probably won't end well.

...

Happy Friday to all and to all a good Friday!

Wait, that's not right....

Ten on Tuesday Rewind

2011-10-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

Corey and Stacie are still away, fishin' and boatin' and moseyin' around the deep south with granddaddy. Enjoy a ToT from last June while they're fixin' to fly back to yankee territory.
...

1. What does your car say about you? If you don’t have a car, what kind of car would be your daily driver?
I drive a very plain, no frills Hyundai Tucson. (I lie, one frill: butt warmers.) So does that mean I am plain and no frills?

Hecks no! I may appear dull and lifeless, but I assure you underneath these black slacks and green cardigan there is a girl just bursting to try out a new crocheted doily pattern with some craaaaazy color yarn!

2. To this point, what has been your purpose on this planet?
To make me happy. Shocker, I know. But I have only just recently, within the past few years, realized **gasp** it's not all about me!

3. If you could trade places with any person for any amount of time, who would it be?
Anyone rich and famous. For a week. To get it out of my system so I can happily come back to real life and plans of living on a farm with Corey and our retired racehorses, chickens, and alpacas.

4. What is your favorite kind of cake? If you don’t like cake, what is it about it that you don’t like?
Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. But it has to be the stuff from the grocery store, in the box. No cake compares. If you don't like cake, you're weird. That's a fact. So I will eat your piece for you.

5. Would you have wanted to live in your parents’, grandparents’ or great-grandparents’ generation or only your own?
I want to live in the generation where women wore dresses and those cute black and white shoes, men held doors open and didn't curse like sailors, and kids would get a swat on the butt for talking back.

6. Do you have any home remedies for illnesses, cleaning or otherwise?
If you're feeling grody, put down the double bacon cheeseburger and pick up a carrot. Your body is trying to tell you something.

7. What is your ideal weather situation?
Sunny and 72 degrees. Slight breeze. You can do anything in sunny 72. Except ski. But I can live without skiing.

8. What is your best attribute (physical or personal)?
Well, my nickname growing up was "bugle lips" and I heard a "tree trunk" remark from a nasty little boy who became my boyfriend for 3 days in sixth grade, so I believe my best attribute might be something on the inside, like my ability to drive without paying attention.

9. Do you text or surf while driving?
No. (yes) I never text while driving. (yes i do) Because it is dangerous. (i do it anyway) And against the law. (still do it) Plus, my mom yells at me whenever I even touch my phone in the car. (i wait until she gets out)

10. How long have you known your best friend?
There is a three-way tie for best friend. In no particular order:

Jill - 14 years. Since marching band (band reference for the week: check). She brought me out of the cozy box my parents kept me in and introduced me to boys as boyfriends and not cootie machines.
Katie - since birth. Hers, not mine, 23 years. Sisters are automatic best friends. They know you better than you know yourself and are the only people you can trust to give it to you straight with the best intentions. I can definitely count on Katie to tell me how she really feels.
Kimberlie - also since birth, 22 years. She goes along with most of my dumb ideas. Lord help her.

Out of Office Reply: Marriage is Goooood

2011-10-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

Corey and Stacie are currently off having a wildly adventurous time in the land of retired seniors. Please enjoy the following essay on the benefits of marriage as expressed by Stacie just one month after her wedding in 2009.

Why I love being married.

by Stacie

When you're married you don't have to be afraid of things. Like the dark. Except for when your dear sweet husband hides behind a door when you get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and then jumps out at you and scares out that little bit of pee you knew was in there but just didn't want to come out yet.

When you're married you always have someone to listen to you complain about your job, your friends, your hair, that little bit of fat accumulating under your arms. You can also share your hopes, dreams, and aspirations that he not leave the windows open anymore. It's cold out.

When you're married you can look forward to those nice surprises that brighten your day. A piece of your favorite dessert. Maybe a love note in your lunch bag. Or the ever romantic fart in your face while being pinned to the ground.

When you're married you are introduced to new food. Like gravy and cheese over fries, baked beans with hot dogs over cottage cheese, or my favorite, fries with baked beans, meat sauce, macaroni salad and a corn muffin all mixed together. Sometimes your husband will serve you while you're relaxing on the couch reading a National Geographic on California's redwood forests, that's another nice surprise.

There are many more reasons why being married is rewarding, fulfilling and special, but I'll leave you with my favorite:

When you're married there is someone else who can take the dog out when it's 30 degrees outside.

The End.

Friday Confessions

2011-10-07T10:12:00.001-04:00

Let's get some things off our chests before the weekend, shall we?

1. I am always finding dog hair in my food, on my clothes, even in my own hair. But it's the long crimpy ones I worry about. The ones that come from Oliver's netheregions.

2. Last Thursday I brought the fixins for a salad to work for lunch because I'm trying to eat healthier. I brought the greens, a nice balsamic vinaigrette, walnuts, feta cheese, and a red pear. Then I ate a Ding Dong.

3. ...and a candy bar.

4. I have allowed myself to become entirely wrapped up in two reality TV shows: Sister Wives, and Dancing With The Stars.

5. I want to be famous just so I can be on Dancing With The Stars. Oh how I love that Derek Hough.

As a friend. Of course.

6. I suffer from parking anxiety. When pulling into an area that has undesignated spots I tend to panic.

What if this isn't where I'm supposed to be?

Am I blocking the flow?

Do I really need to be here??

7. I also suffer from flying anxiety, for which I plan to medicate myself from now on.

8. Meaning I am going to be drugged for the six flights in our cross country tour starting tonight.

9. My new favorite food: meatloaf and mashed potato pizza with cheese and ketchup. Yes, it is as good as it sounds.

10. I'm part of a late-twenty-somethings/early-thirty-somethings Bible study on Thursday nights:

"You're not writing in that leader's guide, are you? I need to give it back to so-and-so."

"No. But I was drawing a whole bunch of middle fingers."

Just so you know God allows us Christians to have somewhat of a sense of humor.

...

Enjoy your weekend, friends! The beautiful Sam Champion tells me we're all in for some welcomed weather!

My Thoughts, Exactly: TRESemme Fresh Start Dry Shampoo

2011-10-05T10:02:00.001-04:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of TRESemmé for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am currently in a love/hate relationship with my hair. It hates me and yet I still keep it around.

There is a "relaxed" quality to my curl, borderline lazy, and yet a frizz factor that is less "bringing sexy back" and more Junior High awkward class photo. This leaves me with a daily dilemma: what do I do with this mess??

The solution: put it up.

When it's wet: put it up.

When I let it dry a little and gets that beginning frizz: put it up.

When I dry it with the blow drier and it just doesn't curl right: put it up.

I was surprised one day when I had the time to tame it and I noticed how long it had grown!

Then back in the spring I stumbled on a little secret that halfway helps: don't wash it every day.

Yikes.

But there was a noticeable difference. My strands weren't as dry and I had a pretty good wave-thing going. Although, I still had to "put it up," the top half of my hair would be too greasy.

Enter TRESemme.

With this new line, the Fresh Start Dry Shampoo, I can skip my daily washing get rid of the grease and save myself from 1) the time it takes to wash and dry my hair every day (hello 15 more minutes of Good Morning America!) and 2) the frizz and nasty curl I get from my hair being so dry. All I have to do is take yesterday's hair, use my Fresh Start and style.

There are a few different options, based on your hair type:

Strengthening Dry Shampoo: with vitamins for strength and body
Volumizing Dry Shampoo: with mineral clay and citrus, it removes oil for great volume
Smoothing Dry Shampoo: with proteins to refresh straight hair
Moisturizing Waterless Foam Shampoo: with Witch Hazel, Citrus and Aloe Vera to remove oil and odor while moisturizing hair (this is the one I use)

Long story short: with this stuff you can skip a hair washing and still look good (and smell good, thank you citrus extracts.)

Celeb Julia Allison teamed up with TRESemme and created a tutorial on how to use Fresh Start Dry Shampoo. She's also giving away a $500 gift card to Target to a lucky viewer...hint, hint.

And if you'd like to read for yourself how easy TRESemmé Fresh Start Dry Shampoo is to use, here are a few recommended directions to get the best results:

Do shake vigorously before use and in between spray bursts
Do lift section of dry hair and spray lightly at roots
Do spray in short bursts, holding 8-12 inches from head
Don't spray it like hair spray (all over and continuously)
Do leave in for 1-2 minutes
Do use fingertips or a brush to distribute product evenly
If clogging occurs, remove the nozzle and rinse under warm water, then reattach

See. Simple.

Check it out!

Ten on Tuesday

2011-10-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

A fun set of questions this week from Chelsea...just the way I like 'em. Random as the day is long.

1. How do you take your coffee?
Now that I drink one coffee a month, I prefer it over ice with lots of milk and vanilla flavoring. But I try not to overdo it, caffeine makes me think I can talk faster than my mouth can move. It's embarrassing.

2. Do you prefer soft or crispy chocolate chip cookies?
Soft to the thousandth degree. Actually, if you just set them on top of the oven that's about as cooked as I need them to be.
3. Do you wear a belt every day?
I only have two cool belts, so I can wear them maybe once a month before people start to say, "she's wearing the pink pineapple belt, again?!"

Other than that, no. Unless I have a pair of pants that's threatening to sag.

4. What is your favorite color combination?
Oooo...right now on my bed I have a red toile quilt on light green sheets. It works. I like turquoise and orange together, purple and green, and always black and gold (Boiler Up!)
5. Do you like sour candy?
Only when I can eat with a friend and we can laugh at our sour faces. Otherwise, what's the point??

6. How often do you do laundry?
Sundays, and whenever Corey threatens to do a load.

Call me crazy, but I prefer our whites stay white.

7. Did you ever wear braces?
No, but I needed them. Both of my darling sisters, on the other hand, wore braces and now have perfectly straight teeth.

Good for them, I say through my clenched crooked teeth.

8. Are you good at Roman Numerals?
I can count to 18 because of this song:

9. What is your favorite form of social media?
Twitter. I sometimes wish all communication could be limited to 140 characters...
10. How do you feel about chin dimples?
I have so many questions: what does a hole in your face feel like? does food get trapped in there? do you have to clean it out with a q-tip? can I touch it?

...

Have a very merry Tuesday, friends!

Weekend Wrap Up: Sales and Travels

2011-10-03T11:53:00.003-04:00

What happened here? All of a sudden we switch our calendars to October and the temperature drops 20 degrees?! Is this fair??

Wow, what a lovely, warm fall September day this is.
...

Helloooo October. I cannot feel my fingers.

My mom, my sisters and I woke up on Saturday, bright and early on the day of the World's Largest Garage Sale, to 50 degrees. And rain.

Of all days.

But, being loyal bargain shoppers, we went anyway. Ponchos, rain boots, umbrellas, and all.

For half of our party, the weather got the best of us. Only two hours in, my sisters retreated to the car to sit with the heat turned up to 90. Two hours, several purchases, and one soup-in-a-bread-bowl later my mom and I joined them.

My fingers were so cold and red I could not use them anymore.

I listen to my body's signals.

More on my super finds later, like after I finally show Corey.

One purchase may or may not be well received.

But that's a story for a different day.

After the sale, Corey and I packed up our overnight gear for a trip to his parents' house. It was a rare free weekend he wanted to use to see one of his grandmothers. I oblige. Gramma time is good time.

We sat by the fire, kept Oliver from eating the cats, shopped, ate Italian, ate cake, ate breakfast, ate meatloaf, talked about how lousy the weather has been...your usual family togetherness stuff.

I also stabbed myself with a felting needle. A through-and-through as I think they call it in crime scene investigating.

"If it was bad you'd be bleeding."

"I AM bleeding!!"

"Oh."

Now we're back to the grindstone. Busy week ahead of us. Lots of plans. Packing for our cross-country adventure. Worrying over flying.

Yay....can't wait.

Friday Confessions

2011-09-30T10:35:00.001-04:00

Below, an oldie but goodie. I wrote this "confessions" almost exactly a year ago today, on the eve of The World's Largest Garage Sale. And because now this is the eve of The World's Largest Garage Sale I cannot be expected to come up with an original post. My garage sale strategy must come first.

You understand.

1. Growing up, my family designated "favorite movies" based on the amount, duration, and intensity of fart scenes.

2. I may or may not have taught my innocent, 13-year-old cousin what the phrase "breaking the seal" means.

3. I attended a luncheon on behalf of my boss where I sat at the head table with the Assemblywoman and the Chancellor of the New York State University school system. I had a visible booger in my nose the entire time.

4. I also dribbled sauce down my chin oh-so eloquently.

5. And then I ran out of the building.

6. The World's Largest Garage Sale starts this weekend. I purchased this old lady cart to store my treasures...and snacks.

7. Corey and I had an anniversary a few weekends ago. I spent the day with my family that was visiting from all over the country then the night baking my mom's birthday cake. We both passed out on the couch dinnerless and wedding-cakeless.

8. As this year has felt like no fewer than five, we were ok with it.

9. Marriage is hard, people.

10. After reading yesterday's post, my mom said our life is like a reality show. Let me tell you: we would be the dumbest show on the planet, second only to The Hills. Aside from our occasional misadventures, this is our nightly routine: come home, Corey walks dog, talk about dinner, eat cheese and crackers, forget to eat dinner, eat dessert, Stacie watches Matlock and plays with felt, Corey checks stats online then watches game, Stacie goes to bed, Corey watches game and falls asleep on couch.

Bo-ring.

But I would definitely entertain any and all offers. Just sayin'.

Dog Fights and Downpours

2011-09-29T14:28:00.001-04:00

Oliver has had a rough week.

His life is one big routine of walk, eat, drink, watch me get ready for work, eat, sit, lie, walk, lie, eat, sleep.

Starting last Friday we've thrown in medication two times a day, constant digging through his ears, checking is gums, staring at his eyeballs. We roll him over every other minute to check his rash; is it spreading? is it getting better? why is he wet? ohmigosh is that pee?

Then last night the poor guy was attacked.

By a Boston Terrier.

Corey let Oliver out to do his business while I waited inside.

No big deal. They do this every night.

But this night I hear a blood curddling scream come from outside. It was definitely a dog. But what dog??

Oh Christmas candy, that dog has finally killed something.

I seriously thought my dog, who has aggression issues toward most dogs, had finally done damage to some poor, innocent creature.

The shame...the anguish.....the vet bills!!

I ran out the door, so did my neighbor.

"Was that your dog??"

The rest of our building was already outside. Including one of the neighbors holding his little -4 lb Boston Terrier. He was upset. Corey was upset.

Oliver was confused.

I was confused.

It wasn't until we were back upstairs and Corey had texted our vet before I found out what happened: the teeny little dog was also outside doing her business when O-dog came down. Being super excited to see who he thought was his friend, her brother, he rain toward her. She, being not entirely pleased, lunged at him, grabbed ahold of his neck and did not let go.

Enter dog screaming.

Corey and another neighbor were able to seperate them.

I checked for damages and judging by the seriously awful sound of his screaming I was looking for missing chunks of skin, maybe a tooth.

Nothing. Just some redness, a little bruising, and one littttle tooth hole that produced half a drop of blood.

Fine. Everyone was just fine.

Except Corey. And the neighbor who owned the dog.

But boys will be worriers.

...

This morning was the icing on the cake. Out for our morning walk I noticed dark clouds rolling in.

After everything that's happened, wouldn't it be just great if it rained on us?!

Famous last thoughts. It did rain. And it was not great.

Oliver and I were stuck in a downpour a little less than a mile from our apartment.

Do I wait it out under a tree?

(rains harder)

Do I run all the way home?

(rains even harder)

I ran with my glasses in my hand, Oliver shaking off every 10 feet, water in my eyes, cars driving by most likely commenting on how dedicated an athlete I am.

Corey was waiting for us on the porch with a few towels.

...

Great way to start the day! Possibly a hint of what's to come for the weekend? Let's hope not.

We Want To Know: what you eat!

2011-09-28T11:53:00.001-04:00

Spoiler alert: in the following post I mention pancakes.

Thanks to Mamarazzi and Queso for making me so hungry so early in the day!

{1} What is one thing (food or drink) that you MUST have everyday?
Currently, I'm not stuck on anything. But I have had my seasons of English Muffins with peanut butter or rice with everything. Right now I'm in transition: from ding dongs and wontons to salads and veggies.

My pants don't fit.

{2} What is your "go to" food when you don't feel well/need comfort?
Pancakes. I love pancakes more than life itself. Sprinkle them with chocolate chips and add a smiley face? We'd be friends for-ev-er. I'm not even joking.

{3} Is there a dish you make that people request when they visit your home/a family favorite?
No. I think people still assume I haven't yet moved from newlywed to homemaker.

Which I haven't. So people please continue to feed us.

Otherwise, I make a mean chicken spaghetti that Corey requests whenever he gets sick of cooking all. our. meals.

{4} What are 3 foods you have TRIED, do not like and will NEVER eat again?
The only food I can think of is mushrooms. I gave 'em a shot, was not impressed, so I'd rather avoid them at all cost.

I'm not very adventurous when it comes to food. Especially if it's slimy.

and our final question comes from Dee@ HomesickCajun

{5} What's one thing that you love to eat that most people would think is weird and/or gross??
Pancake batter and pie crust dough. I've eaten some weird things in my day, but this is the one that has stuck for as long as I can remember.
Don't judge.

...

Visit Mama and Queso to join in!

My Thoughts, Exactly: Sandals

2011-09-27T11:35:00.000-04:00

The opinions below are 110% my own, no one has paid me to say all kinds of nice things about these sandals, they were on my feet at the time, I realized how much I enjoyed them, and I thought I would share.

I don't often splurge on...anything.

I'm a "thrifter" as Corey called me this morning. I live for hand-me-downs, garage sale finds and consignment stores.

However, every now and then I do come across some items that are worth spending a little extra on.

Like these:

Patagonia Bandha Sling sandals in Dried Vanilla. Also known as my birthday present this year.

I realize it is a tad late to be talking about sandals, now that we've officially moved on to fall, but I anticipate a sale (you're welcome), plus, not all of us are blessed with four feet of snow by Thanksgiving and can get away with sandals all stinkin' year.

I hate you.

But I don't.

I came across these beauts at a downtown outdoorsy store early this past summer and by looks alone I was head over heels:

They're simple. 90% of the time I wear simple outfits and need a shoe to compliment. The other 10% a slipper will do.
The leather and skinny design of the straps classes 'em up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not above a flip-flop, just the opposite; these babies take me where no regular flip-flop can. Like work meetings.
Back strap. Something different, something functional. Because now that I'm kissing my twenties goodbye I should add some rationality into my decisions.

The only hesitation I had when buying them (clarify: when Corey bought them) was the price. For $90 I could by 180 paperback books at the next book sale, I could go on a date with hubs, I could pay one half of my last driving-on-cell ticket. But, I reeeeeally like them, and thought they might be worth the risk. So on my feet they went. And I've worn them almost every other day since July.

My feet have thanked me.

Just so you know.

Birthday Wishes

2011-09-26T14:28:00.002-04:00

Thursday, September 22 was my mom's birthday but I just did not have the time to paste her age all over the Internets...and I feel terrible!!

My family did, however, throw her a low-key party for which she cooked the entire meal.

(But the dessert was ruined so my dad and I threw together a last minute chocolate cake because in our household a birthday is not a birthday without a cake. Just like a Friday is not a Friday without cinnamon rolls, and a Wednesday is not a Wednesday without chocolate chip cookies...but I digress.)

We're a small family, five Dina's plus two significant others, and when we all get together you can almost hear the neighbors shoving earplugs, cotton balls, fingers, toes, cat tails, hot dogs, and whatever else into their ears.

"It's those Dinas again. Jeez Louise do they have a volume other than Earth Shattering?!?"

No, not usually....

Unfortunately, my parents do not keep a supply of candles in the house, so we had to settle for the "2" and "3" candles that were meant for Kimberlie's birthday in March for my mom's cake.

Which is actually appropriate: if you add the two numbers you get the first number in her new age, and then if you subtract the two you'd get the second number, that is, unless you subtract the 3 from the two giving you -1, which would make her 49, and if the first number is a 5 that just wouldn't work out....

She's 51 years old, for cryin' out loud.

51 and lookin' goooooood!

So happy belated blog birthday wishes mom!!

Weekend Wrap Up: Happy to see Monday

2011-09-26T12:37:00.000-04:00

Sweet mother of pearl am I glad this past weekend is ov-er.

Corey probably is too, but for different reasons.

Allow me to elaborate.

As you might remember, I've done a lot of work with our local soup kitchen to plan two of their major fundraisers that fall within a month and a half of each other. The first was the festival in the park in August, the second a huge breakfast served to thousands of attendees of a balloon festival held this past weekend.

The planning that went into the two events was exhausting enough, but the actual events themselves were both equally physically exhausting.

Starting at 3:30am my dad and I started the days prepping food and working with the 80+ volunteers; we had an hour to fill 8 chaffing dishes with scrambled eggs, French toast, pancakes and sausage. Then four tables had to be lined with OJ, coffee, hot water, milk and every kind of condiment you would ever need.

Minus mini Tabasco bottles. But we have to have something to shoot for.

The weather was terrible and none of the balloons lifted off. But on Sunday, at least, they were blown up.

Which means there were still plenty of people lining up at 5am for an all-you-can eat feast.

Which means there was lots of scrambling of more than just the eggs.

Which means I was exhausted.

Needless to say, several naps were in order.

By 1pm on Saturday I had already worked six hours and napped for two.

...

And on Corey's end, he was in charge of monitoring Oliver-dog 24 hours each day for bruising in his ears, eyes, or gums that would immediately send us all to the doggy ER.

"I had to google what a Golden Retriever's ears are supposed to look like just to be sure."

"And?"

"He's fine."

For some reason, Oliver develops this weird rash on his undercarriage that lasts for several weeks and then disappears. Corey took him to the vet on Friday just to finally find out what it could be and was surprised when the vet thought he had a serious blood disorder.

Corey left the office with several hundred dollars in vet bills, a 3x per day medication and a special shampoo to be used that day.

For a guy who has never owned a dog in his life, let alone bathed one, the whole process took a lot out of him and I came home Friday night to towels strewn across the floor, dog hair in the drain and a wet dog running wild, sliding all over the wood floors in our apartment.

Corey also had instructions to monitor Oliver closely and keep him calm and confined until his blood work comes back this week. If anything about him even slightly changed Corey was told to take him to the ER immediately.

Confined, yes. Calm, no.

But I guess it's a good sign he still has the same amount of energy.

...

So now here we are, Monday...again. But this week we have a weekend of leaf peeping, granny visiting and a world's largest garage sale to look forward too.

Happy Ending.

Color Confusion

2011-09-22T16:11:00.001-04:00

"Um hi, this is Stacie Lucas. I called about an hour ago for hats, I needed nine of them..."

"Yes, I have nine hats in a Columbian blue."

"Ok, so what color is that?"

"Well, it's Columbian blue..."

Is this a color I should know?

Cape Cod getaway

2011-09-22T12:38:00.000-04:00

Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Lucas!

Two years we've been married.

Two whole years last Sunday.

So to celebrate we decided to take a trip. And if you follow any of my obnoxious tweets you know we rounded Cape Cod and settled for a long weekend near the tip, in North Truro.

Our hotel was right there on the beach, and at night at high tide you could just about spit right into the ocean.

Corey could have. I, being a proper lady, am not proficient in spitting.

It. Was. Magical.

Not the spitting. The weekend, it was lovely.

First, the entire elf shoe that is the cape is just one awesome, sandy beach chunk of land that has the feel of vacation and relaxation the second you cross the Bourne Bridge.

We stopped in Sandwich, Corey's least favorite place on the cape and I could see why: it was my favorite. Antique stores and museums as far as the eye could see. Then there was this gem:

Hello Captain Scott, your crabcake sandwich was absolutely deeee-vine. And Corey says thanks for the memories....of some rockin' fried shrimp.

We stayed in North Truro through Sunday, our anniversary, where we consumed large amounts of fried seafood, cooked seafood, seafood mixed with other seafood and chocolate.

Oh the chocolate.

I ate cake at 10:30 in the morning. And ice cream. And candy.

Because I can. I'm an adult.

We walked the beach in the mornings; one morning witnessing a particularly hungry seagull shake the living daylights out of its breakfast, a good sized crab.

"It's the circle of life."

Indeed. But that circle is terribly violent, for goodness sake.

But I digress.

Corey loves, loves, loves taking pictures. I usually have no time behind the lens, unless I'm directed to snap a picture of Corey on the beach, Corey on the balcony, Corey in the vineyard, Corey doing his goofy dance in his underwear and socks, etc.

He's really good at it.

This was our view across the bay toward Provincetown.

"Ooooooo...."

We spent a few hours each day in Provincetown, an iddy biddy little village at the very end of the cape. I would say it rivals Saratoga in cuteness, but don't tell my precious home that. However, what we saw and who we met could alone fill its own post.

If you don't already know why a couple-a kids from small towns like Corey and me would have a hard time just knowing where it was safe to look, then your mommies and daddies probably don't want you to know.

I found myself in a few situations in the art galleries where I was face to face with things I don't see in my day to day routines.

Unless my day to day routines involved touring local strip joints.

TMI?

I had to fight the urge to giggle and run from the buildings.

Remember, adult.

Safe places: the taffy shop, the ice cream shop, and that home furnishing store that had three Golden Retrievers sitting outside.

Although most of our actual anniversary was spent laying around the hotel room watching football while Corey fought a terrible headache, Sunday was my favorite day. Large breakfast in the hotel's cafe, antique/craft fair/bake sale in N. Truro and a jazz festival at the vineyard down the street from our room.

First, I'm a sucker for breakfast. I like food and I like mornings, a good breakfast literally makes my day.

Second, I'm a sucker for arts and crafts, and antiques, and bake sales. This was all wrapped up into one large event. Yes, Corey did have to drag me away from the beautiful Polish dishware, but just having the opportunity to look was a dream come true.

Obviously it does not take much for me...

And Third:

I love vineyards.

I love jazz.

And I love this guy. And this guy was having a good time.

We left early on Monday. It was time. After a full three days of being on the go we were tired. And Corey missed his dog.

I'm not going to say the first two years of our marriage have been candies and roses.

Unless you count actual make-up candy and roses. In that case, I've ingested my weight in chocolate.

I'd imagine anyone thrown into a share-everything-including-life's-biggest-decisions-and-a-bathroom situation is going to struggle at the beginning.

But things are starting to shape up.

Corey and I went on a vacation together and had a really good time. We love each other. We enjoy being together. And we genuinely wanted to celebrate being together.

Despite anything that happened in our first two years, I think our future looks good.

...as long as there is still some chocolate.

Ten on Tuesday: A through Z

2011-09-20T10:27:00.003-04:00

We have fun here on Tuesdays. And today we change things up a bit. Yay...I like change. So much. It's my favorite thing ever.

A. Age: 29. As in the real 29, not the I'm-actually-turning-35-but-I'll-continue-to-say-I'm-29-until-I-die 29.

B. Bed Size: Queen.

C. Chore that you hate: dishes. And folding laundry.

D. Dogs: Oliver, Golden Retriever.

E. Essential start to your day: Breakfast. Most important meal of the day. Also a shower.

F. Favorite Color: All of 'em.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver. My skin tone does not make gold look good.

H. Height: 5'7 3/4", although I'm convinced with the right amount of stretching I'd be back to 5'8".

I. Instruments you play: Trombone. Not what you expected?

J. Job Title: Legislative Assistant, but with absolutely no legislative work involved.

K. Kids: None. One dog and one active husband is all I can take right now.

L. Live: Saratoga Springs, New York. My favorite place this side of the mighty Mississip.

M. Mother’s Name: Debbie.

N. Nicknames: Beetle.

O. Overnight hospital stays: One, right after I was born. None since.

P. Pet peeve: Where do I begin...people who talk to loud, Massachusetts drivers, squeaky doors...

Q. Quote from a movie: "Did we just become best friends?!" "Yup!"

R. Right or left handed: Right.

S. Siblings: Two younger sisters. I love them to friggin' pieces.

T. Time you wake up: 6:30am.

U. Underwear: Yes.

V. Vegetable you hate: Beets.

W. What makes you run late: Good Morning America and that darn Robin Roberts.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Teeth, at the dentist.

Y. Yummy food that you make: I think I make a mean chocolate chip cookie, and my brownies were tied for first in a bake off. But I don't like to brag...

Z. Zoo Animal: Bears and monkeys, my favorites.

...

Happy Tuesday! On deck for tomorrow: wrap-up of the best Cape Cod vacation ev-er.

Friday Confessions

2011-09-16T07:12:00.000-04:00

1. When people ask me how I'm doing I say "good", not "well". I feel like saying "well" makes me sound like one of those people who use "can" and "may" correctly.

2. Not that there's anything wrong with being correct, it just feels funny coming outta me. It would be like using a British accent. Does. Not. Fit.

3. Squeaky doors are my nails on a chalkboard.

4. I once started a post that began with my amazing ability to hold in my pee for large amounts of time.

5. These Friday things get written throughout the week, as situations arise. Number five: Wednesday. Mood: near meltdown. Prediction: when you read this all the drama will be over and I will be on my way to a relaxing mini-holiday on the cape.

6. I said "mini-holiday" in my head with a snooty British accent. Sometime words deserve special treatment; in this case it does not feel out of place.

7. Please try to keep up.

8. This is where I left my rings Tuesday night.

On my note pad, on my desk, in my office.

Text to my friend Jill that night: "Ok, so I'm not 100% sure where my wedding rings are..."

Corey was less than thrilled.

9. Another prediction: both my mother and my mother-in-law will call and scold me upon reading this. And in my defense I will turn them on Corey because he leaves his rings all. over. the. house.

Sorry Corey, but I told you you should keep the danged thing on your finger.

10. I've mentioned before about how I hate to waste. Here is an exception: the last few post-its. There's only five left? Toss 'em and start a new one!!

...

Happy Friday! Enjoy your weekend!

Chef Corey

2011-09-15T15:19:00.000-04:00

This season of our marriage is all about food.

We cook it (and I say "we" very loosely), we eat it, and now we watch it.

Before Corey I'd never watched a single minute of the Food Network in. my. life.

I never cared how it got made, just so long as it did and went into my belly.

BFF: "Ohmigosh! It's Bobby Flay!!!"

Me: "Who??"

Now I'll see the guy walking ten feet away and I practically have to pick myself up off the floor.

Why?

Because FN is all we watch.

Corey is especially enthralled with the cooking competitions. It's fast paced and frenzied, something I think he can identify with clearly; Iron Chef just happens to be on every single night as he makes our dinner* and often will talk to me as if we are part of the competition, he being the contestand and I am the judge.

"What I've done here is marinated the chicken in a creamy sauce then served over a bed of crisp greens..."

Tuesday night he cooked for me a full three course meal, each presented with a Japanese accent (imitating Iron Chef Morimoto, of course).

The first course: a blend of cheeses with a dash of cayenne pepper grilled between two flour tortillas with a garnish of hot sauce on the side. (Quesadillas)

The second course: a grilled bread topped with a tomato sauce, a blend of cheeses and pepperoni chunks, cut into four pieces. (A frozen Celeste pizza)

And finally, the third course, which really was a masterpiece:

An ice cream Snickers bar with whipped cream and sprinkles on top of a homemade raspberry sauce with crushed walnuts.

It was pretty darn tasty.

Although a little out-of-the-box, which is what those shows are meant to be anyway.

Watch for Corey's own show in the future. He's just the kind of food nut they love!

...

*Corey makes our meals because 1) he enjoys it and 2) I have only enough time to pop a hot pocket into the microwave.

We Want To Know: Road Trip!

2011-09-14T10:38:00.000-04:00

Round two (for me) of We Want To Know Wednesday. Thanks to Mamarazzi and her friend Queso for another week of digging for my dirt!

And, of course, by dirt I mean more info about me. Because you didn't already have enough.

{1} What are 3 must haves for a long road trip?
A pillow, a blanket and a driving buddy that doesn't mind me sleeping the entire way to save myself from motion sickness. Also, said buddy will have to be ok with stopping every three hours so I can stretch my buns.

{2} What was the destination of your most recent road trip?
Corey and I caravaned with my parents and sister to Washington DC and then Virginia. We both had different versions of the Garmin so we ended up going in different directions, meeting up somewhere in Maryland after Corey and I waited in traffic for-ev-er and my parents stopped at an IHOP for breakfast.

{3} What do you miss most about home when on a trip?
My bed, my dog, my stuff. Although, I do love, love, love staying in hotel rooms. There's just something about not having to clean up after myself...

{4} What is the furthest you have traveled on a road trip?
When we moved from California to Indiana we drove. And we took the biggest detour ever through Mississippi. It took us two weeks, but that was with three kids under eleven, a dog, and two cars with no air conditioning.

I remember one particular hotel that was infested with fleas. That may or may not have led my mom to search for bugs on the walls while still asleep.

Then there was that trip from Washington to Southern California, and from way far east New York to Northern Indiana.

{5} Will you "stop for the largest ball of twine, etc" or are you a "hurry and get there" road tripper?
It depends on the trip. I very much enjoy stopping to see the sights along the way, but sometimes you just want to get where you're going already.

Vague much?

...

Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday...I'm laughing already about the Corey story I want to tell tomorrow.

hehe...silly Corey.

A desperate plea

2011-09-13T13:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Corey,

For goodness sake, please let me sleep.

I realize it is soooo hilarious to wake me up five times in the middle of the night to listen to my awkward ramblings, I'd wake myself up if I knew I'd hear me yammering on about crackers and beluga whales (you know how sleep talking stories affect me), but this girlfriend needs her full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I need to be able to keep my eyes open when I iron my pants, drive to work, talk to constituents, eat my lunch, use the facilities, play scrabble with Jill on my phone, and drive home again. And I'm sure you'd prefer me to be awake during our special time.

You know, when we watch taped episodes of Restaurant Impossible.

Also worth mentioning: I'm downright grumpy and throw pillows at your face.

So, if you don't mind, leave me to my sleep. And only interrupt if the house is on fire or the dog is doing that gaaarrummph thing before he pukes.

Thank you,
Stacie

Overheard...

2011-09-12T16:50:00.001-04:00

In the grocery store:

"...so he burned his butthole."

These are my neighbors, people.

I wonder how the rest of the conversation went...

Weekend Wrap Up: Wine tasting and birthdays

2011-09-12T11:49:00.001-04:00

We saw the sun this weekend.

WooHoo!

Also there was some flooding, alpacas, eccentric artists in coat tails and a top hat, a roasted pig, leopard print, a birthday girl, white caps and felt balls.

Put all that together and you get one crazy party.

A 98-year-old nana in leopard print?!

No, we spread the fun out into two very long days.

Early Saturday morning I dragged Corey with me to an artist community for Harvest Fest; an all day open house featuring animals, art, food, and demonstrations. People in the northeast reeeeally embrace the fall, and I embrace people who embrace fall. And Corey embraces me as I embrace people who...you get the idea.

We met puppies from the local animal shelter. I picked out ten of my favorite ten. And then I told them I loved them as Corey ushered me by. We pet alpacas and baby cows, walked around the grounds, ate hot dogs, I bought eight ounces of alpaca wool and then we left.

Lunch was a fabulous mess of all kinds of slop thrown into a container and labeled the "trash can" platter at a nearby drive in. Fortunately, I digested enough to still be able to enjoy the sampling of food at the local performing arts center's wine and food festival Saturday night.

There was meat, and pasta, and bread, and more meat, and shrimp, and some kind of green veggies, and more meat, and cheese, and cookies.

And then there was wine that sparkled, wine that didn't, wine that was sweet, wine that was really whiskey with maple syrup, and a funny liquor that tasted just like cough syrup with a hint of pistachio.

I may or may not have sampled my share and beyond of everything.

I also may or may not have forced Corey to smuggle out the etched wine glass under his coat.

Good times.

Then there was family time. Sunday we drove up to Corey's hometown for his grandmother's 98th birthday party.

We took pictures and cooked hamburgers. And it's a three family affair so there were plenty of stories.

Oliver played with his cousin Reuben, a one-and-a-half year old Springer Spaniel before passing out on the ride home.

I spent the rest of the day felting to a Matlock movie marathon and Corey watched whatever games were on; football, baseball, horse racing, badminton, bass fishing, literally whatever.

And then we slept the sleep of two very sleepy sleeps.

The end.

...

Try reeeeally hard friends, have a happy Monday!

Friday Confessions

2011-09-09T11:19:00.001-04:00

1. I make up song lyrics based on what I hear. For example, Lady Gaga's Bad Romance became, "...caught in a pair of pants, whoooaaaooo."

2. I also smack butts. But only butts I know, although sometimes I have to remind myself that certain butts are inappropriate. Like work butts, or stranger butts, or distant relative butts.

3. Same with passing gas. It's as natural a bodily function as breathing, but I have to make a conscious effort to not let this natural function occur in some places. Home, ok. Outside, ok. Car, ok. Office, not ok. Clothing store, not ok. In front of friends, sometimes ok.

4. I over share.

5. On our daily walks I allow Oliver to have conversations with other dogs in the neighborhood (read: pee on stuff), and I've discovered were he a person he would be the guy that never shuts up.

6. I am pleased as punch that Corey is extremely bothered by dishes in the sink, because I am extremely bothered by doing dishes in the sink.

7. He sent me an itinerary for our day trip up north to see his grandmother. It included returning home for take out and bedtime by 4:30pm.

8. His grandmother turns 98. Not only does she still have her wits about her, she still lives in her own home.

9. Corey is going to outlive me. It's in his genes.

10. In my genes: old lady meanness.

...

Happy Friday friends!!

Nighttime Shenanigans

2011-09-08T16:21:00.000-04:00

Whoopsie doodles! I fully intended this morning to tell you about my sleepy time rambles but the time just walked away from me.

Tuesday night I guess I had a doosy. I warned Corey to watch out for the fruits and vegetables and then swore that I really was awake.

I started to actually wake up because I remember the look on his face. He was thrilled! Corey loves it when I talk in my sleep, and swears he needs to set up a recorder. "They're priceless!"

So after I started to wake up he ran out of the bedroom.

He ran out.

To write down what I said.

Unfortunately, after he read it to me and we had a good laugh he threw his note away.

Awwww.

Next time.... Then we can all have a good laugh.

Much Needed Getaway

2011-09-07T14:30:00.000-04:00

The deed is done.

Corey and I are officially flying back and forth across the country this fall for a two-in-one vacation.

Flying.

Did I mention we would be...flying?

Hello anxiety.

We have a wedding in Indiana; my old high school friend and college roommate is getting married (yay!) and I finally have a chance to get Corey in close proximity to my hometown.

By close I mean two and a half hours away. But we will be in the same state. And in the town of my alma mater, Purdue University!

Did you know that both the first man (Neil Armstrong) and the last man (Eugene Cernan) on the moon both attended Purdue?

But I digress.

Very soon after the wedding we get back on a plane....a plane....and head down to Mississippi to see my granddaddy.

I say this about most people I meet, but Glenn Errington really is one of my favorite people.

Corey and I will probably take a spin in the rowboat around his catfish pond, maybe pluck a few for dinner, and drive around town to see the sights: Southern Miss, the Walmarts, Brett Favre's house, etc.

There also may or may not be several buffet dinners in our future.

They're best of the South, you know!

Unfortunately, we can't stay longer than a few days. Budgets and jobs and adult responsibilities are keeping us from making a month of it.

Dag-blasted adult responsibilities!

But we're able to get some special-people time in, and I'm happy about that.

Even if we have to fly to get there.

Google, you kill me

2011-09-06T15:13:00.004-04:00

Today, and today only you get a little treat from Google, a cartoon music video of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now.

It's cute, and clever and a fitting tribute to the best singer of all time.

I'm a fan. Maybe I didn't make that clear.

Ten on Tuesday

2011-09-06T11:05:00.001-04:00

1. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on during the day?
Depends on who leaves last. I like to conserve energy during the hours that we're not around and set it at 72-74. Corey likes to come home to a chill in the air and has been known to set the 'stat at 64.

"Sorry Beetle, I didn't know I set it that low..."

Mmmhmmm.

2. What temperature do you keep your thermostat on at night?
Same as above, but at least now that it is much cooler at night we can agree to leave the windows open.

3. In a canister of mixed nuts, do you pick out certain varieties and leave the others?
I'm not a big fan of nuts. If I'm forced to eat a nut I'd prefer a cashew or almond. Walnuts, please, on my salads and in my oatmeal, an no peanuts anywhere around me....unless finely chopped in a McDonald's sundae.

4. What is your favorite kind of M&M?
Peanut...HAHAHAHA!!

I'm not consistent.

5. How do you buy books? (Amazon, bookstore, new, used, electronic, etc)
Our library has a book sale three times a year where I buy paperbacks for 50 cents and hard covers for $1. I crawl under, over and through sweaty stink-pots for last year's new releases and it is soooo worth it. But sometimes I do miss being able to browse without holding my sweatshirt sleeve to my nose...

6. How do you like your eggs cooked?
Over medium. With a side of hash.

7. Can you whistle?
Yes, but I still cannot do the fingers-in-mouth-eardrum-piercing kind. Mine comes out as a raspberry with extra spittle.

8. What common word do you always misspell?
Ridiculous, it has more to do with how I pronounce it: reeee-diculous. Also, sheriff and squirrel.

Which letter is doubled, again?!

9. Are you afraid of flying?
Oh mama's corn fritters, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I have a trip coming up...oh boy, I have a trip coming up. We fly from Albany to Indiana, from Indiana to Mississippi, from Mississippi back to Albany, with about a dozen layovers in between. I'm feeling tingly already...

10. How often do you go shopping?
For groceries: once a week. For Stacie things: not nearly as much as I'd like. Although I do sense a pair of shoes in my future.

...

Happy Tuesday! Or Monday if you're like me and get completely thrown off by three-day-weekends.

Wrap Up: Hurricane Irene

2011-09-05T09:55:00.001-04:00

You may have already noticed Corey and I made it through Hurricane Irene. She wasn't as angry by the time she made her way aaaaallll the way up here, but there was still plenty of damage to speak of.

Luckily, there was no significant damage in our area.

Trees fell but managed to miss most of the power lines near us. We were only without power for about three hours.

Three very long hours for Corey. While I fired up a Youtube episode of Matlock, the poor guy could only pace back and forth, looking out windows and every now and then shouting "Hey did you see that?!"

My parents had some damage to clean up. A dying birch tree they already wanted to take down did actually blow over.

Into their pool.

But I think they're still putting a check in the win column.

Unfortunately, though, the counties surrounding us are having some serious flooding.

Not our county.

Reporting live, this is Stacie Lucas with Channel 3 News.

Yancy Pants

2011-09-02T16:15:00.001-04:00

"Hey Beetle, how's it going."

"Fine. We've been pretty busy today"

"Sorry...I'm just walking the dog."

"All these angry people decided to call and..."

"...hang on, there's a car with a Georgia license plate here. Three-six-eight-Adam-David-Yancy..."

"Did you just say 'Yancy'??"

Friday Confessions

2011-09-02T09:35:00.000-04:00

1. On Wednesday I checked my blog stats, I was specifically interested in how people find Corey & Stacie. The following search engine keywords have led people here:

look busy at work
midget land palm springs
corey in poo letters
inner elbow crease

2. Let's see what happens when I mention dog farts in every post!

3. I had an iced coffee from Rock Hill Bakehouse twice this week. It only comes in one size: 50 gallon drum. Not only was I not able to sit still for two days, I could not stop peeing.

4. I should not be allowed to drink coffee.

5. My grandma's name is Irene. Poor grandma.

6. Jimmer Fredette is from the town in which I work. Back in June his dad agreed to take some items to him to sign for my boss and some of her colleagues in the senate. While on the phone with Mr. Fredette I shamelessly begged him to have Jimmer come to the office to sign everything.

"Um, well, I don't know what his schedule is..."

"Oh I was joking!"

Awk-ward...

7. A google search yesterday on "hermaphrodite" was work-related.

8. Corey's new favorite prank is startling me while in the shower. He thought it was funny the first time he popped his head in the bathroom when I wasn't expecting him to even be home and I screamed as if my eyebrows were on fire.

9. He also likes to tease me that we're doing a whale watch when we're in Cape Cod later this month. (see post below...)

10. I vomit all the contents in my stomach, your stomach and your mom's stomach on whale watches. Gross, I know.

...

All vomit aside, have a happy Labor Day weekend!!

2011-09-02T08:44:00.007-04:00

Its almost time to head to the Cape now that racing season is coming to an end....and what better way to get things started upon arrival...a WHALE WATCH!

There are only 4 days left of racing at the 2011 Saratoga Meet. How did 36 days go by that fast? It seems like just yesterday we were sitting inside Siro's on opening day toasting the meet. Wait...Keeneland is just around the corner, oh, everything is ok I guess.....and with the end of the meet also comes the beginning of football season....one of Stacie's favorites. She has even showed an interest in fantasy football this year....a giant step in the right direction!

In just 14 short days, its off to Cape Cod...a nice relaxing ocean vacation to unwind.....the last 40 days of racing, and all the antics that came with it took its toll. Lobster, shrimp....mmm, I can taste it now....Moby Dick's...here we come!

So we go...Saratoga, to Cape Cod, to Keeneland....(in a later blog)

and then Mississippi....what??? Heck, bring on the Catfish

Sneakers are too chewy anyway

2011-09-01T13:56:00.000-04:00

Corey and I have been seriously neglecting our pantry.

It's bare.

I mean, there's stuff there. Like sugar, and spices, and a waffle maker.

But there isn't any foooooooood. Like the kind I can eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I don't think I need to tell you (for the half a billionth time) that I was up-to-my-eyeballs busy this summer, and Corey has his track commitments (and I say "commitment" very loosely) every hour of the weekend. So any time we might have had to shop for groceries has been taken by passing out exhausted on the couch/bed/toilet.

This morning after looking through the fridge, freezer, and pantry for the sixth time I realized I would have to utilize my back-up's back-up for breakfast: Dunkin' Donuts.

My regular back-up is a bagel with maple walnut cream cheese.

Yum, right?

I had that yesterday, and I just wasn't feeling it today.

Plan B: double chocolate donut from DDs.

People, don't get me wrong. I love me some chocolate donuts on. special. occasions.

Like Saturdays.

But regular days I need good food. The kind loaded with fiber and antioxidants. The nutritional value of a donut is about the same as if I had eaten a sneaker.

Don't get me started on lunch.

We don't have any of that either.

I'm currently wondering what will go best with one of those 100 calorie packs of Cheezits (thanks to the office snack stash) I already have in me.

Iced coffee?

Or a large gulp of air...?

Coffee wins. This time.

We Want To Know: About Yo' Celly

2011-08-31T11:02:00.000-04:00

Because I just don't think I've talked about myself enough here and because Mamarazzi is one of my favorite bloggettes, I'm trying out this little thing called "We Want To Know Wednesdays" hosted by Mama and her friend Queso who I don't know yet.

But the girl has cheese on her blog so, yeah, I'm sure we're meant to be besties.

Here's what we do: they ask questions and I answer them.

You'll catch on.

{1}Do you prefer to text or call?
I think I've made it very clear to most people that I greatly dislike talking on the phone. I never have anything to say that can't be said in under 100 characters.

However, I still don't text as much as my darling husband. When talking to a Verizon rep:

"It looks like we can put you on such-and-such plan. It doesn't look like you use....oh wait, No. Your husband texts a lot."

{2}What is the last text message in your phone and who is it from?
Corey: "Plan on getting it done by early next week." I asked him to look into plane tickets for our Indiana/Mississippi trip in October.

Yay!

{3}What are your favorite phone apps?
I hang out on Twitter quite a bit, and I enjoy my ongoing games (in which I consistently lose) of WordFeud with my BFF Jill.

{4}At what age do you think kids are ready for a cell phone?
The age when they throw a fit for one.

Was that the wrong answer?

{5}Share a current pic or video taken with your phone.

We have an issue with our tomato plant.

...

And that's it! Now go visit my friends and see what they had to say.

Dreaming of an orange fall

2011-08-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is September.

By the Lord's mercy and grace and determination to use me for other projects I am sure will prematurely wrinkle me, I made it through the summer.

There were a few things going on.

This was my July:

(keep in mind there was a 9-5 work week and endless laundry not noted here)

(how two people can generate so much laundry is beyond me.)

And then August:

Even after the event that consumed me I still have a very full schedule. Why??

But then the gates of relaxation and good mental health open up and I get a September that looks like this:

Dear, sweet, sugar snowflakes do I need a month that looks like this. My October is even more sparse and November is completely free of all commitments....

...which leaves me an entire month to fret about Christmas presents.

But that's far enough away.

In the meantime I'm going to enjoy the last day of August knowing it's finally over and my favorite season is practically here!

Ten on Tuesday

2011-08-30T10:27:00.000-04:00

1. What is your favorite brand of shoes?
JCrew: every now and then I like to splurge, and when I do I know I'm getting something that's going to last. Srsly, they'll stink to Hoboken before they fall apart.

2. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes?
I was young enough to not remember.

3. How do you feel about freckles?
I love them. When I see be-freckled faces I am instantly jealous. All I get are these random dark brown dots and a couple of moles. Bo-ring.

4. I can count to ten in ___ languages.
Two. English (obviously) and Spanish. I used to know Italian and Japanese.

5. What is your favorite store-bought ice cream flavor?
The kind that goes with hot fudge.

6. Were you in ballet or gymnastics as a little girl?
Ballet. Gymnastics never crossed my mind as an option. Good thing, because based on the few classes I took as an adult I know I probably would have ended up with major cranial damage.

7. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?
(I got this question wrong last time) Grover, not gonzo. Although they are the same color.

8. What’s your bedtime?
I try to crawl into bed around 9:30, start a DVRed Matlock and then fall asleep by 10. But then I get woken up by Corey, who stays up to watch the news in the living room, to tell me a funny story he heard during the day or to just pet the dog.

9. Do you have any jewelry that you wear every single day?
Just my married lady rings. I try to pop in some earrings most days. Other than that it's a necklace here, bracelet there, and, when I remember, my watch.

10. Who is the bug killer in your household?
I am the bug releaser in our household and Corey is the centipede killer.

Centipedes...uuuuggggghhhh.

...

Happy Tuesday!! And good luck getting that picture out of your head.

Happy Belated Travers' Day!

2011-08-29T16:22:00.001-04:00

What in the name of monkey feet is she talking about??

Sometimes I forget I don't carry you all around in my pocket to see and experience everything I do.

I also forget there is a world beyond Saratoga...

...despite the fact that for 22 of my 29 years I was actually in that world.

My friends, this place in which I reside is not your typical small town. Sure, we have restaurants you can barely fit your entire body into and boutiques that sell art and tattoo permanent makeup onto your face all in the same place.

We got ourselves a racetrack; the most historic racetrack in the world.

And this track is home to the longest running sporting event in the country: the Travers Grade I stakes race worth $1 million and the rights to be in the running for horse of the year.

(scroll down to comments for Corey's correction of my statement above, rest assured, there will be one.)

We get something like 45,000 people for the day, including a few celebrities. Corey and I have run into Bobby Flay, one of the guys from the Sopranos, Bill Parcells, John Walsh, Rod Stewart*, etc.

Every year to celebrate Corey and I throw a pre-Travers party where we invite everyone and their mothers (literally, we had moms there) to hang out in our driveway to eat pastries, drink mimosas and try to avoid being pestered by the dog.

I try to spruce up the asphalt with a few flowery table clothes and flower arrangements. Last year I managed to swipe some beautiful purple loosestrife from the side of the highway in the cover of darkness. This year I went legit and swiped flowers from my own yard.

We eat and chat and then head down for the races.

We usually have a story to tell afterward. For several years it was, "Can you believe how hard it rained?!"

Then there was, "Can you believe all the dang bees?!"

Last year, "Can you believe Betsy fell and had to spend the day in the hospital?!"

This year, "Can you believe we let Jennifer eat the crackers out of the dog's bowl?!"

I really get a kick out of this one.

See, after the party was over and we started to clean up I put a handful of leftover crackers in the dog's bowl because the trash was still downstairs and I didn't think five crackers would drastically affect O-dog's waistline. Corey took them out. Apparently our dog does not eat crackers. He set them on the counter and we both walked out of the room.

Enter Jennifer.

Five minutes pass.

Enter Stacie.

"Ohmigoshthosecrackerswereinthedog'sbowl!!"

She had eaten all but two of them.

Poor thing was horrified.

And disgusted.

I told everyone I know.

And then we headed down to the races. Another eventful year.

...

*It was actually one of the Vice Presidents at Corey's office who just happens to look exactly like Rod Stewart.